Us of Lesser Gods
by LoupGarouAngel
Summary: What woke Dean Winchester was the throbbing pain pounding in his head like a rhythmic drum, it was then he realized he wished he had never opened his eyes.Rated T for Gore.Mass Dean Whumpage and plenty of Sammy angst,and of course,brotherly love.Season 2.
1. No One Can Hear Me Scream

Brand new Were!Chester story, wooo! This one is angst filled, gory and full or brotherly love! Oh, and did I mention major Dean whumpage? Takes place in season 2, before Fresh Blood. Yeah, tons of fun, enjoy!

xXx

What woke Dean Winchester was the throbbing pain pounding in his head like a rhythmic drum, it was then he realized he wished he had never woken up. Slowly he blinked his swollen eyes open, his own crimson blood burned his eyes, steadily dripping down from a large slash across his hairline.

He went to raise a hand up to the wound, but found them tightly bound, he gave a weak tug but it was no use against the metal restraints. He gazed at his surroundings, cringing at the hell hole he found himself in this fine evening, a wrecked barn that reeked of manure and death, wood rotting and old hay. The humid air was old and stale, the stenches it carried clinging to his nostrils. The place was literally falling apart around him, boards caving in and out every which way, paint peeling with age and old equipment seemingly rusted to the walls.

Dean sat in the center of what appeared to be some sort of work area, the floor cleaned up a bit so the concrete showed through the hay and some shiny new tools sat on a tray beside him. He cocked and eyebrow and groaned as he gazed over the collection, knives and drills and saws, all the fun tools of torture.

Dean closed his eyes as he tried to recall the fuzzy memories at what had brought him here, Sam and him had just killed some beasty down in New Orleans and were getting ready to go to the bar an celebrate, then nothing. His gut habitually clenched as he thought of Sam, was he okay? Was he hurt, or worse…?

He shook the thoughts away then hissed in pain as he did so, the searing pain returning more strongly this time. He looked around again in the moonlit barn, searching for any sign of human life, when none was visible he gave a frustrated sigh.

"Stopping bein' a god damn pussy and get your ass out here, I don't play games." Dean growled, he hated being toyed with.

He was surprised when a thin woman stepped from the shadows, she wore a pale blue form fitting dress that glittered in the moonlight that seeped through the broken roof. Her hair was long and red, thick curls falling to her waist, shining bright green eyes close to his own and skin that was sprinkled in freckles.

"I do though, Dean." Her voice was beautiful, he was taken aback by its power and almost sing song tone, and it's smooth as moonshine southern accent.

"Do what?" He asked with a narrowed brow, blood still trickling into his vision.

"Play games, sunny boy. It's a shame really, if you had simply let my mate and I be, none of this would have to happen." She sighed sorrowfully, taking an elegant step closer to the tray of torture equipment, carefully she picked up a knife, the long blade shined brightly like the glint in her eyes.

"Where the hell is Sam? What did you do to him?" Dean asked angrily.

"Sam wasn't the one who killed my mate, I just left him back at the motel, but he won't be waking up anytime soon…"

There was that word again, "mate", what the hell was she talking about? Dean wondered angrily.

"You're what? Mate? I didn't kill your friend sweetheart, I think you got the wrong guy." Dean replied easily, but he thought this may have been the first time he had actually been mistakenly kidnapped, ironic really.

"Oh, you hunters, think you know everything, to bad not even those obsessed with the supernatural still don't know all the secrets the world holds." She looked away from the blade and met his eyes, they seemed to glow in the night, burning into his so deeply it made him uncomfortable.

"The "monster" you killed tonight was fiancée. He did nothing wrong and you just pumped him full of silver like a true murderer." Tears brimmed her bright eyes and the memory of what they were hunting returned to Dean, the legendary southern beast, the Loup Garou.

None had been sited for a near hundred years, so when reports started showing up of people getting there hearts ripped out in and near New Orleans, Sam and Dean knew they were dealing with a werewolf. Only they hadn't realized it was a true Loup Garou, an ancient breed that shifted into a true half wolf when the moon was full.

"Did nothing wrong? You consider ripping the hearts out of innocent people okay? I don't think so sugar." Dean grunted, sneering at her in disgust.

A small smile crept to her face and she shook her head in shame.

"Did you ever look into the victims? See who they really were?" She stepped closer, suddenly her face right in his, red hair brushing his face and those green eyes piercing him like daggers.

"Wh-what?" Dean stammered, taken aback by her actions.

She stepped back and began to circle him slowly, like a predator cornering its prey, she leaned on a old work table near by and picked up an rugged notebook.

"George Reeds, he spent years in jail for child molestation only to be released on parole last spring, but you know how old habits die hard for some… Tyler Blue, put in jail last year for beating the hell out of his wife, well, she went missing a few weeks ago, but supposedly he was with friends… Ryan Smith, released on good behavior and for giving information, he worked in professional crime, and as soon as he was out, old boss is mysteriously killed and he's the new leader. What's he do with this? Sends a team to kill the FBI agent who put him in, setting fire to his house with wife and kids inside. No one survived."

Her eyes flashed up from the page she had been reading from, meeting Dean's gaze.

"So, tell me Dean Winchester, was it wrong of Derek to kill those men?"

Dean was reeling from the information, every single name was that of a victim over the past few months, and all apparently had been horrible people.

"You're lying." He whispered, eyes locking onto hers, the dark look she returned scaring the hell out of him.

"You know I'm not. You were wrong, Winchester, you killed an innocent man." She growled, once again approaching him.

He glared up at her, gut twisting in nervousness at her presence, at the wonder of where the hell Sam was, and about what was going to happen to him.

"He was a monster. A freak. When I saw him he wasn't human, he was ripping out hearts with claws and fangs, and that qualifies as killable to me." Dean growled coldly.

She sneered down at him, anger growing on her serene face, with a quick strike she sent a slap across his face. Dean hissed as it stung and he felt fresh blood flow from four new gashes. He looked down and saw long white claws in place of fingernails.

"He was Loup Garou, we must feed on hearts to survive, we know it is wrong to kill, and we made the effort to try and do good with it! We are an ancient breed, proud and righteous, rarely found and hunted because we are smarter then the actual evil creatures out there! But you had to come in on your high horse, thinking your every act is just, and kill him! When a Loup Garou mates it's for life, and now he's gone…" Her voice rose until she began to sob, tears streaming down her pale face, and for a moment Dean felt sympathetic.

She turned away, not wanting him to see the weakness she had suddenly tumbled into. Memories of her lover flashed in her mind, she could almost smell his scent and his voice spoke to her in that always calm and loving tone, she could almost feel his touch as he told her what to do.

"_Don't do this Lily, don't kill him… it's not our way… show him, show him our ways…"_

Her sobbing quickly stopped and her eyes locked with the full moon. He was right, why kill this hunter with knives and weapons like some mere human, when she could truly torture him…

"Change of plans, Dean." She snapped around and made him jump in surprise.

"What? What are you talking about?" He asked, eyes flashing about, where the hell was Sam?!

"Don't worry, you'll get a head start." She whispered as she stepped up next to him.

She slowly leaned down next to him, fingers trailing his face as she smiled softly. He flinched away, his eyes hard and angry.

"What are you doing?" He growled out again.

She leaned in and kissed him with soft lips on the cheek.

"That's not the only kiss you will get tonight Dean." Her smile broadened as she easily yanked off his restraints and stepped back.

Dean fumbled away, kicking his chair awkwardly and eyeing her wearily, his body was killing him as he realized his injuries were worse then he thought.

"Better run Dean." She growled, voice deeper, fangs suddenly lengthening.

"Aww, hell…" he groaned loudly as he grabbed a blade off the table and began to run toward the closed door as she quickly shifted from woman to beast.

He pulled up the latch and gave a shove on the thick wood doors, but they refused to move.

"Damn it! Come on! Come on!" He shoved again with his good shoulder, pain shooting through his sore body as he did so.

He looked back and saw something straight out of a nightmare. Where a beautiful woman had once stood, was now occupied by a beast. Tall with lean muscles and a mostly human upper body standing on digit grade legs, a snarling wolf head, blazing red and white fur, long white claws like knives protruding from a cross of hands and paws. She was all the pride and glory that was the Loup Garou and with a wicked grin she began to stalk toward him.

With a final shove the doors gave and he burst out into the humid southern summer night. He looked around and saw only swamp and woods every which way, only a small path snaking through the willows and roots. He sprinted full speed down it, knowing damn well he couldn't out run the thing, but he had to do something while he planned.

Shadows danced before him, making him doubt his steps as he was unsure if he was stepping in holes or flat ground, roots sprang up every which way and mud slicked the footing beneath him. Pain shot through a leg he knew was badly sprained with every pounding step, his head throbbed and Dean prayed to someone he could just make it out of this alive.

The sound of panting reached his ears and he cursed as he realized just how damn close she was, he pushed himself faster and heard a growlish laugh echo in the bayou. It was then he knew he was screwed.

A car seemed to hit him as she slammed into him in a tackle, he heard his bones snap and joints pop as they tumbled onto the beaten path. She grabbed him roughly, pinning his shoulders to the ground and knocking the knife from his hand as she straddled him beneath her mass and lowered her snapping muzzle mere centimeters from his nose.

Dean cursed as he knew he was a dead man, he felt a surge of misery and panic as he thought of Sam, his life, and how he was going out. He glared at this thing in pure rage, he may have taken away a part of her family, but why should she so hatefully return the favor?

"Do it, bitch, kill me, proves you're nothing but a damn monster." He gasped, the pain in his body so bad he wished she would just rip his heart out already.

The snapping seized and she drew back a bit, tucking her muzzle so her eyes burned into his once again. Those brilliant green eyes glowed in the night, shimmering in the pale moonlight Dean found himself drowning in them, when suddenly they flashed with rage and a fang filled muzzle was tearing into his neck and chest.

Hot, searing pain shot through his body as teeth tore through muscles, windpipe and collar bone. The wolf shook her head viciously and Dean felt and heard the ripping apart of his own body. He felt tears brim his eyes, he couldn't breath, he knew he was dying, drowning in his own blood when suddenly she recoiled and glared down at him with a bloody muzzle.

"_I wouldn't kill you for revenge Dean, I'd do something much worse." _That beautiful voice drifted through his mind.

A sudden shout made the wolf raise her head, a shot rang through the night and a bullet hole smoked between her eyes, as she collapsed dead beside him.

Dean felt the world slipping away, darkness started to enclose him as he heard the screaming echo of his brothers voice calling his name…

xXx

Does this cliffy make me evil? Yeah, probably. ;D Reviews and feedback always welcomed and appreciated! :)

Oh, and much Sammy angst, worry and sobbage in the next chapter!


	2. Because I Can't Go On

Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to their favorites/alerts, it's greatly appreciated! Any mistakes are mine, and if the medical information is off, I apologize, did a bit of research but I know not all terms are correct. Now, on with the angst! Enjoy! :D

xXx

Sam heaved another bout of bile into the toilet, his whole body shook in anxiety and fear as he leaned against the cold metal stall wall, not caring he was on some tile bathroom floor, it was a hospital, so it had to be clean. His gut twisted worry and he could feel the next batch boiling in his stomach, never in his life had been so worried to the point of vomiting, but then again he had never seen anything like he had just six hours ago.

Images flashed in his mind and he leaned over the toilet, dry heaves rocking his frame as tears streamed down his face. After a few moments he was able to stand, still shaky but feeling a small amount of relief in his gut, he made his way out of the stall on unsteady feet. He laid his hands on the cool ceramic sink and leaned on it, his gaze rising up to meet his reflection.

A sickly pale and waxy face stared back, dull hazel eyes with swollen lids peeking through grimy untamed hair, he stared blankly as the memory of what happen played out in his mind over again.

_They're walking out of the motel when he feels something heavy hit him hard in the back of the head, he comes to and finds Dean gone. He doesn't know how long he's been out, has no idea what attacked them and took Dean._

_Frantically he starts researching, he thinks about the last hunt, he realizes that the Loup Garou probably has a mate, so he returns to the forest where they killed him. _

_He's running in the moonlit night down a narrow dirt road, he's been running for a few miles, he's covered in itchy sweat and his feet are soaked with mud. When he sees something happening on a path that splits off up ahead his heart skips with hope, but then skips a beat in pure fear. _

_He recognizes the silhouette of a large wolf like creature, but there's some kind of mass at its feet, and he knows its Dean. Knows it's him because of the screams of agony echoing through the humid night around him, they're so clear, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heart and those damn screams. He stops, every instinct wanting to push him closer, but the mind of a hunter pulling him back. _

_He raises his gun, and everything slows, he screams, not only to catch the things attention, but because that's his brother damn it, and he's dying. Dean's screams have stopped, and that scares the hell outta Sam, so when those startling green eyes against red fur meet his, he sneers in rage and fires. Sam is by his brothers side before the beast hits the ground._

_And it's then his life falls to pieces._

_He tells himself to think, but how can he when his brother is staring up at him with blank dead eyes? How can he possibly think when that's his brothers blood mixed with the mud, splattered across that handsome face and seeping from the huge hole in his neck and shoulder? _

_He just can't._

_He feels himself fall to his knees, feels his hands slip under his brother against slick mud and pull him up closer toward him. He feels hot tears stream down his face and sobs shake his body, but what he doesn't feel is Dean's heartbeat, Dean's breathing… He only feels a cold body._

_Sam doesn't know how long he is there for, because he's still sobbing and holding Dean when he suddenly feels his brother pull in a sharp breath, one much stronger then someone who should be dead. _

_He hears his own voice call for his brother, knows he is some how able to call 911, some how tell them where he is, but all he thinks is DeanDeanDeanDeanDean! Because that's his brother, and he supposed to be dead, only now, somehow... he's not. _

_Sam hears the ambulance screaming as it nears, but he doesn't budge, but suddenly he's thrown aside as men and women sweep Dean up. He follows quickly, but his mind isn't there, he's in the ambulance, a woman shouts something, alarms beep, the car jolts on the dirt road, a mans face bobs in his view, but it's a blur because all he is trying to do is watch Dean. He hears something about shock, torn, broken, should be dead but still all he thinks is DeanDeanDeanDean!_

_Because that's his big brother, and he can't die._

Sam let the memory fade away, the anxiousness or worry refusing to leave with it. He sighed and turned on the water as hot as it could go, letting it burn his cold hands as he ran it over his sickly face.

Sam had been pacing the hospital for hours, wrecked with worry and sickness as he got no news from anyone. He had pestered an older African American nurse whom requested to be called "Nurse Byrd" and told him in a deep southern accent that if he didn't stop his worrying she was gonna beat him with a spoon. Sam would have chuckled at the similar mannerisms she had with Missouri, but right he didn't think he could ever laugh again.

So Sam only looked at her fearfully before returning to his pacing. How could he not worry when Dean was almost dead in there?! It was then, after his repeated thoughts and vivid memories had it become to much and had he run to the bathroom as his stomach became so twisted he couldn't take it anymore.

Sam returned to the waiting are, Nurse Byrd looked at him with sympathetic eyes as he sighed and shakily sat down in the worn maroon chair. He glanced around the large area, pale green walls and a light blue tough, work carpet that wasn't really carpet at all. A big clock hung on one wall seeming to taunt and torture him as it slowly ticked by.

Sam was about to get up and go ask if any news had come, when a tall thin doctor with a large nose and small glasses came out through the swinging doors.

"Sam Westley?" He questioned, no accent at all, as he approached Sam.

Sam shot up quickly, the doctor nodding him to follow him through the doors.

"Please, follow me sir."

Sam's heart sank in worry and bile threatened again. He wondered if they only took people back when they had to tell them their loved ones, that they were dead, they would say it in cold tones that said they didn't care.

Sam gulped and prayed it was only the movies.

The doctor halted outside a large white steel door with a tiny window that had a blind over it. Sam's eyes locked with the doctors and he managed to speak.

"How's my brother?"

The doctor paused and his eyes flicked to Sam's eyes.

"Alive, but we don't know if he's going to survive." He said in a sympathetic tone.

"Why? What all is wrong with him?" Sam asked, his heart beating quickly in fear.

"You're brother sustained multiple injuries, broken leg, arm, shoulder, collar bone, ribs and multiple vertebrae fractures. He has mass muscle damage to the neck and shoulders, along with many severed nerves, his lung was punctured and collapsed. Sam… you're brother is lucky to be alive, we're going to try our best to keep him stable in the ICU until he hopefully wakes up."

Sam let the information sink in. Dean was in horrible shape, the probability of him pulling through not likely, but somehow, he was alive when he shouldn't be, and that gave Sam hope.

"If he does survive, what are we looking at?" Sam asked coolly, trying to stay positive, his world was so dark, but now he needed to be strong to make sure Dean got through this.

The doctor sighed and shook his head.

"Dean will probably never walk again and he would most likely need a breathing and feeding tube until multiple surgeries can repair the neck injuries. Sam, I have to be honest, Dean is living on a machine right now, he came in with a weak heart beat and barely breathing. The life if he survives this is poor quality… I'm just letting you know, if he shows no signs of improvement or of waking… you may have to consider other options." The doctor sounded truly sad, Sam had never heard such sympathy in a voice, and although he should be shouting in rage at this man for suggesting such a thing, he only nodded.

"Sam, I've given the okay to the staff to let you stay with Dean, normally with someone in this condition we don't allow visitors, but i've heard from a little bird," he paused at that with a small smile. "that you've been pestering the staff until you do so."

Sam gave a small quick smile before his face flashed back too the pleading puppy eyes to just let him in.

The doctor opened the door and Sam followed him into the blinding white room, his eyes immediately falling upon the body that lay in the center, attached to monitors, tubes and a machine that pumped precious oxygen into his lungs.

Sam worked to keep his tears at bay as he stared at his barely recognizable brother, bandages and casts covered a majority of his body, and the flesh that did show through was deep purples, blues and greens. His eyes were swollen shut, a tube protruding viciously from between chapped lips and a cheek clearly puffy with slashes beneath gauze and tape.

"I'll be in my office just down the hall, press the red button over on the side wall if you need anything, Sam. If anything fluctuates to a dangerous level a nurse will be here within' moments, but even if you're worried, just give us a call." Sam nodded in return and the doctor smiled then quietly closed the door behind him.

Sam pulled a chair up beside Dean's bed, getting as close to his older brother as possible, he felt like if he left this room, Dean would just slip away, and he could not let that happen.

Memories of childhood, hunts and fun times together unavoidably worked through his mind until Sam felt the sobs seize him once again and he began to choke out a desperate plea to his big brother.

"Come on Dean… we still got a lot of ass to kick… still gotta find Mom and Jess's killer, we still got work to do. You can't leave me man… I just… I can't loose you too… Everyone I love… or care about seems to die… but you can't Dean… you're my big brother… you've always been invincible… always been there to save my ass… please Dean… please… wake up… please wake up… we gotta go… go take down all those evil sons of bitches… snuggle bear too."

Sam looked up to his brothers face, expecting to suddenly see all the gauze, bandages and casts gone and in there place a smugly grinning Dean, leather coat, rugged jeans and work boots. He would tell Sam to knock off the bitch fit and to get his things, they had to hit the road, they had work to do.

But it was the same scene, the monitors beeping away, the whooshing of the breathing machine as it kept Dean alive, and the complete silence that was the total lack of Dean in the room

Sam let the tears fall freely, dampening the white cotton sheets, he let the sobs carry him into exhaustion until he laid his head down on his brothers bed and unavoidably fell into worn out sleep…

xXx

Oh Dear... things are not looking up for poor Dean. Reviews make me type faster! :D


	3. One Piece at a Time

Glad to see everyone enjoying the story so far! Thanks to all who reviewed, it's greatly appreciated! This is kind of a slow chapter, but I promise the next one is well worth the build up! Enjoy!

xXx

Sam awoke the next morning with a start, nightmares about finding Dean haunting him as he saw the gory scene over and over again. He blinked quickly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his whole body was stiff from sitting in such an uncomfortable position all night and his neck was killing him.

He looked to Dean and gave a worried sigh, his brother still slept, machines beeping away and helping him breathe.

Sam looked at his watch, it was seven a.m. meaning that the nurses would be around soon to do routine morning checks.

Sam stood slowly, stretching his tight arms and back, a fuzzy blue blanket he hadn't noticed before slipped off him. His brow knotted in confusion and he bent over to pick it up, eyeing it as he wondered who put it over him during the night.

The door quickly opened and Nurse Byrd hustled in with a large plastic bag full of stuff, humming a happy tune as her eyes met Sam. She smiled warmly at him then looked to Dean, shaking her head in sadness.

"That brother of yours is a damn fighter, he's been the talk of the hospital staff all mornin'." She said as she set the stuff down and began to quickly move around Dean's bed.

"First the EMT's were talkin' about how they didn't even know how he could be alive, then the ER doctors were tellin' everyone about they had never seen even a car crash this bad, the surgeons course were stunned when they saw him, got right to workin' on the internal injuries an such." Her eyes met Sam's, and he was curious as why she was telling him all of this.

As if to read his mind she replied, "Sam, I'm tellin' you this because everyone thinks Dean is gonna pull through, jus somethin' about the boy and his will to survive that's got everybody in awe. Jus 'smornin' all his vitals have improved, heartbeat is much stronger then when he came in, things are looking better." She smiled warmly at came up next to Sam, having to look up at him with those warm brown eyes, as she was much shorter then the hunter.

He gave a smile back, he was happy to hear such news, but Dean wasn't out of the woods just yet…

Nurse Byrd grabbed the plastic bag from the table and held it out to Sam.

"Now Sam, I know you're worried bout your brother, but boy, you gotta clean your self up." She looked over him, eyebrows high as she waited for him to oppose.

"But-" Sam started.

"I'll watch your brother, you have a full bathroom attached to the room, you can step out for ten minutes to clean yourself up… now get in there before I make you get in there." She shoved the bag in his hands and shook a finger at him.

"Get in there boy!" with that she turned and took Sam's spot next to Dean, settling into the chair she began humming "What a Wonderful World" softly to the young man.

Sam nodded and turned to the far wall, finding there was a full bathroom attached that he hadn't even noticed before. He stepped in and closed the large fake wood door behind him, setting the bag on the table he turned the water on to warm up and began peeling off his clothes.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and realized why Nurse Byrd had been so adamant on getting him to shower. He still wore the same blood stained jeans and shirt he had found Dean in. The sight of his brother's blood on him sending chills down his spine.

His face was gaunt, his skin pale and waxy, his eyes grey with exhaustion, his cheeks looking thin as the bones jutted out sharply. His hair was matted with mud, blood and grease, much more unkempt then usual. He couldn't deny he was a frightful sight to behold.

Sam opened the bag and smiled at its contents, he didn't think he had ever been to such a caring hospital. It was full of clean clothes, shaving cream and a razor, shampoo and soap, a small comb, a tooth brush and tooth paste and a large chocolate chip muffin wrapped up in cling wrap.

He removed the rest of his clothes and stepped into the hot shower, setting the soap and shampoo down he let the rushing liquid relieve his cold skin and tight muscles. He rested his hands on the slick tile, leaning on the wall he let his head hang under the showerhead so that the mud and blood could be rinsed away. He watched as the grime swirled away down the drain, his thoughts numbingly fading away as the sound of water and comfort of steam engulfed him.

After a few minutes of letting himself relax he grabbed the soap and shampoo, inwardly cringing as he saw it was the same kind Dean used. He squirted a large glob into his hand, running it through his unruly hair he couldn't help but fight back tears as the scent of his older brother surrounded him.

Sense memory took him back to a motel in Kansas, they had been hunting in the sewers all night and Dean showered for so long that steam had filled the whole room and the scent of his shampoo lingered for hours. Sam had joked with him about how HE was the girl for once, Dean only joked that he couldn't have any stink scaring off the ladies.

Sam relished in the memory as he rinsed the suds away, wanting so badly to just go back to that, back to being normal and not in a constant state of worry about Dean and if he was going to make it. He quickened his showering, realizing he no longer wanted to be surrounded by the scent of warm vanilla and honey, but back out in the room beside his brother.

Sam stepped out and grabbed a big fluffy towel that awaited him, drying his body and shaking out his wet locks. He brushed his teeth and pulled on the clean clothes that were soft and new, along with fleece insulated slippers that were much more comfortable then his rugged boots. Sam sighed, truly more relaxed now after a good shower and a change of clothes, he smiled and thought of how he would have to pay Nurse Byrd back sometime.

He glanced at the gruff stubble that was starting to appear and decided that would be for later, he quickly grabbed the chocolate chip muffin and left the rest as he headed back out to the hospital room.

Nurse Byrd was finishing the final verse of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" when he stepped out and came up beside her, her voice beautiful and heart warming to Sam. She paused and turned around to face him, a affectionate smile on her face she patted Sam in a motherly way, then began to head for the door.

"You're very good." Sam said softly.

"I sing for the church, but mainly I sing for those who need it most." She paused in the doorway and watched Sam as he glanced at his brother.

"Who are those that need it most?" Sam asked curiously.

"Those who need help finding their way home."

xXx

The next few days were some of the most anxious and worst Sam had ever experienced in his life. Dean was showing slow signs of improvement, but still he didn't wake up. The nurses came in daily to remove bandages and clean his wounds, telling Sam how good and clean they were looking.

At first he said he had wanted to watch, thinking maybe by seeing the neck injury would help rid the horrible memory of that night, but instead it had been replaced with a worse one.

At night it had been dark, there was blood everywhere, and his neck was torn up, but it was NOT a gaping hole in which you could see bone and muscles. They stitched where they could, but Sam was informed much of the flesh and muscle were missing from the collar bone and lower neck area.

After that Sam would disappear into the bathroom when it was wound cleaning time.

He had finally called Bobby, the older man was currently in the midst of driving down and Sam was glad for that, he was going nuts without someone else who understood everything around.

Sam had gotten into a daily routine, he would venture around the hospital and found himself always getting free food, then picking up some books from a small gift shop they had. After his morning rounds he would return to Dean and sit by him all day with a book in hand until somebody brought him dinner.

The staff didn't mind him at all, they had even supplied a cot for him to sleep in, and for that he was eternally grateful, they saved him a whole lot of back pain. Dean's main doctor, Dr. Banter, came in often to check on Dean and talk to Sam, their conversations ranging from TV to politics.

These small things comforted Sam in such a difficult time, five days in one place waiting for a miracle was no good for the soul, and these people understood that more then anyone.

It was a sunny Wednesday afternoon, the sunlight streaming through the blinds onto Sam as he read the local newspaper when the first alarm went off on Dean.

Sam shot up and tried to figure out what was going on, but as nurses and Dr. Banter raced in he was told to stand back. He felt his heart quicken in pure fear, his gut clench with worry and he watched for something, anything that would indicate Dean being okay.

"Got a major spike in temperature all the sudden, looks like a possible infection trying to invade the healthy tissue." The alarm was shut off and Sam watched as the nurse who reported this turned to Dr. Banter.

"Give him a shot of Acetaminophen and up the antibiotics, we'll keep an eye on it until it goes down." Dr. Banter replied and turned to Sam, obviously seeing the younger man's worry and confusion.

"In these situations we want to be warned about every little detail, didn't mean to give you such a scare, a fever is perfectly normal in these situations, we just have to make sure it doesn't get to high." With that the doctor gave a nod and smile and followed the group out into the hall.

Sam could only nod in return, and once everyone cleared the room he returned to his brothers' side, his heart still pounding loudly in his ears. He watched Dean, still so peaceful and serene… so not Dean. Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaustion weighing heavy on his mind from the emotional roller coaster that had been the last few days, he just prayed his big brother would wake up already.

xXx

Bobby arrived that evening, the scent of car oil and gun powder engulfing Sam as he hugged him in a tight bear hug that reminded him of the only thing close to home he had ever had.

"Good ta see ya boy." Bobby said gruffly, eyes misty with tears as he gaze turned on the eldest brother.

"Sorry I didn't call earlier Bobby, but… it's been a rough few days. " Sam said as he drew closer to Dean, Bobby following him slowly, taking in the shock of Dean being in such horrible shape.

"It's alright, I understand." Bobby said, seating himself in a second chair that had brought in, leaning back and observing Dean with sympathetic eyes.

Sam nodded and returned to his usual spot, it seemed wrong of them to leave Dean out of any conversations, even if he was in a coma.

"Now Sam, on the phone all you said was Dean was attacked, you didn't say by what though, mind fillin' me in?" Bobby asked, curious if it maybe effecting Dean's inability to wake.

Sam sighed and met Bobby's eyes, trying to push the memories of that night out of his head as he summoned the words to tell Bobby.

"It was a Loup Garou, we killed its mate and it came after us later that evening, dead set on revenge and apparently killing Dean."

Bobby paused, his breath catching at the word Loup Garou, sending chills of worry up his spine.

"Sam… did you see any of the attack?" He asked curiously.

Sam shook his head, not saying anything because recalling the night just seemed to horrible.

Bobby only nodded, not wanting to push the subject any further, but he knew the legends of the Loup Garou, and of the eternal kiss they could share if they chose to.

He just prayed Dean had not received that kiss.

xXx

Answers coming in the next chapter, just so you're aware, Sam and Bobby are under the legendary belief that a Loup Garou has to share blood, not just a bite, hence why Sam hasn't really thought about it, he just thinks the monster wanted Dean dead. Oh, how wrong he is… :D


	4. The Arms of Sorrow

Thanks to all who reviewed! Yay! We get some Dean in this chapter… enjoy!

xXx

_He's back in that god awful swamp, the full moon grinning down on him like this is some kind of sick joke. Willow trees sway lazily in the light breeze that's no relief to his sweat drenched skin, he was never a fan of the heat anyway. He's lost and that bitch is still chasing him, sometimes he catches a glimpse of red hair, or is it fur? Then she's gone and all he can here is her laughing, and sometimes a distant howl. _

_He just wants to find Sam, but he can't. He turns every which way and it is never the way OUT. He sighs in frustration, continuing to walk down a muddy path._

_Suddenly he sees a shadow flash by being chased by a huge red wolf like creature. He panics, it must be Sam, that stupid bitch is after him now! Dean races after them, he fights through stringy braches and thick under brush, keeping his eyes fixed on the two shadows._

_They come to a clearing and the wolf leaps at the figure, Dean goes to scream but suddenly he's snapped in the figures place, with the wolf leaping at HIM. But everything is in super slow motion, the wolf hangs in mid leap, eyes wide and crazy with rage, shining a bright green in the pale moon light. Its paws are outstretched, huge claws mere inches from Dean's face. Its muzzle is wide open, fangs gleaming with salvia and blood. _

_But then Dean notices something weird, there's a bite wound on the wolfs arms. The fur is slicked with the red liquid, red droplet's slowly rolling off, falling to the mossy ground. He looks back to the fangs, slick with the same red liquid. Images flash of the girl in the barn, blood on her lips, then a flash, no longer there, then the wolf after him, no blood, then with a flash she is covered in the crimson splashes. _

_Dean wants to scream, he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows it wrong. Something is wrong, he tries to stumble back away from the attack, but suddenly he finds himself back in the swamp, stumbling through mud and trees again. _

_Dean shouts in anger, but when he hears it, it's not a scream, it's a deep, monstrous roar. He stops, fear creeping up his spine as he looks down, he finds himself completely naked, but he has no idea of how this happened. _

_He groans, only it's a growl, panic seizes him and he brings his hands up to his face, in there place are huge paws with sharp black claws, rough canine pads and a mix of white and dirty blonder fur running up his arms.. He gasps in shock, looking down the ground is suddenly so far away, and his body is a huge mass of muscle and fur. _

"_Nononono!" He wants to scream, but only an agonized howl comes out. _

_He tries to run away from it, but the more he runs, the more he can feel the monster he has become. Strong, lean muscles push him quickly through the bayou, he feels the breeze in his mane, his eyes can see as clear as day in the dark night. _

_He needs to find Sam, he needs to get OUT!_

xXx

Sam is awakened in the middle of the night exactly one week after the attack by the same screams he heard that night. Alarms and monitors are going crazy as he bolts out of bed and shouts for help that is already in the door way.

The sight disturbs and frightens him, Dean is thrashing so hard many of his bandages have torn and his wounds are bleeding. He is trying to yell, but all that is coming out is gurgled grunts and rough, dry screams of agony.

Dean is scared, and there is nothing he can do to help his big brother.

Two large men restrain him, a nurse quickly giving him a shot that immediately begins to calm him down until the thrashes fade into soft shakes and then he stills. After a few minutes of making sure everything is okay and repairing bandages, the staff leaves.

Sam puts himself in the chair next to Dean, knowing he will be unable to fall back asleep after the incident. He watches his older brother carefully, the serene look has changed to one of stress and discomfort.

Sam notices Dean moving his lips a bit, and Sam thinks he is about to have another episode, but then something happens that Sam never would have expected, and it chills him to the bone.

In a soft, barely recognizable whisper Sam can hear Dean pleading, "Saammyyy, help me."

xXx

Sam called Bobby the next morning, unease keeping him up all night after the episode, the thoughts of if there was something more going on turning over and over in his mind.

He needed Bobby's wisdom and his trusty laptop, Bobby promised to bring both plus a cup off coffee when he showed up. Sam hung up the phone and looked back to his brother, what was going on in that head of his? Sam only wished he could know, the guilt was eating him alive. The thought of Dean being trapped inside his own mind, begging for Sam to help him, and his little brother not being able to do a thing, it made Sam want to die.

Bobby showed up a half hour later, cup of coffee and laptop in hand as promised. Sam smiled as he accepted both and placed them on the small table next to his chair as he sat down. Bobby sat in the other chain across from him and let out a sigh.

"So, he had an episode last night?" Bobby asked warily, gray eyes meeting Sam's.

"Yeah, woke up to him thrashing, after everyone left though… he started talking in his sleep… asking me to help him." Sam said softly.

"And a bit before he had a major spike in temperature?" Bobby slid his glance between Dean and Sam, worry clear on his eyes.

"Yeah, it's remained above normal but not anything to severe, why?" Sam titled his head a bit, curious as to why Bobby was asking about the fever.

"Damn it…" Bobby said softly, getting up and slowly walking over to the window.

"Bobby, what is it?"

"Sam, I'm assuming you burned the Loup Garous body already?" Bobby's eyes turned on him sharply in a questioning manner.

"Well, uhhh… no. Didn't have a chance with Dean dying and all." Sam replied, getting more confused by the moment.

"You what?!" Bobby raised his voice, Sam taken aback.

"I couldn't Bobby! Dean was dead! Not exactly on the top of my priority list." Sam sighed, frustrated with the older mans confusing questions.

"Wait, Dean was actually dead? As in, no heartbeat, no breathing for a short period of time?" Bobby softened his voice as realization struck him.

Sam paused, swallowing hard he met Bobby with mournful eyes.

"Yeah, Bobby, he was."

Bobby nodded and returned his gaze to Dean.

"Then we got more problems then we initially thought." Bobby sighed, he took of his hat and ran a hand through his stringy hair.

"Bobby, please tell me what the hell is going on." Sam practically begged, tired of this ridiculous suspense.

"True Loup Garous are hard to come by because somebody has to either be born one, or go through one of two rituals to become one. The first ritual is such complicated spell work only true, old Voodoo queens would even begin to know how to work it. The second is called the Kiss of the Loup Garou. In order for the person who wants to become a Loup Garou, the beasts blood must enter the blood stream, and they must die and come back. However, the comeback is so rare that it almost never happens… except for with Dean." Bobby said, sighing as he took his seat again.

Sam stood, shell shocked at what he had just heard.

"Bobby, how can you be sure, I mean, we don't know if the Garou bled on him." Sam said, not wanting to accept the truth Bobby was offering.

"After the ritual is performed, the few who survive usually fall into a coma for the next two weeks, this is the time the body goes through the genetic changes. Fever and nightmares are common, the victim unable to wake because of the toll the changes have on the body. After two weeks though, the person wakes up and the healing picks up faster then all hell, by the next full moon they are back to full health, plus a boost of Loup Garou blood to make them shift under the full moon." Bobby replied, all clues adding up to one clear answer.

"Oh my God…" Sam said in a hushed whisper, sinking back down into his chair as realization set in.

The two hunters sat in silence for a while, shock settling in as they realized the Dean Winchester they cared about and loved so much, would wake up no longer being Dean.

"Is there anything we can do Bobby?" Sam asked softly, tears coming to his eyes as memories of Dean's smiling, happy, healthy, _human_ face played out in his mind.

Bobby shook his head and stood again, "No known cure, but I'm gonna go make some calls and find out where that beasts body ended up. I'll be back in a bit." Bobby headed for the door, other things on his mind, but he turned slowly and looked Sam straight in the eyes.

"We'll take care of 'im Sam, no matter what happens, we'll do whatever we can…" Bobby said, his sentence trailing off with a nod from Sam. With a deep sigh Bobby turned and left, shutting the door behind him.

Sam stood completely still for a moment, silent as he stared at his brother, thoughts rolling over in his head.

This was all his fault. If he had done more research to find out if the Garou had a mate, had gotten to Dean faster maybe, his brother and him would be in some other state, enjoying the fall days as they worked their way through some other hunt. But no, he was in a hospital bed, now eternally cursed to becoming the things they hunted. Sam clenched his jaw, fists tightening as the anger at himself grew inside his mind. No one to blame but his stupid self. Dean was screwed, all because of him.

He suddenly swung a tight fist to his right, knuckles colliding with plaster as he could no longer contain his rage and sorrow. Hot blood rushed through his veins, adrenaline pumping into his muscles, making the agitation and his temper flare. He swung his other fist into the bathroom wall, the sting of pain a welcome relief to every other thing he was feeling.

He sneered in disgust as the thought of breaking this all to Dean crossed his mind, he could only imagine his older brothers reaction, Dean pleading for him to put a bullet in his head, saying he was no longer human, no longer deserved to live. But he did deserve it, more then anyone else Sam knew, and it was all Sam's fault that his humanity had been ripped away.

Sam felt the tears beginning to well in his eyes, but with an angry yell he punched wall as hard as he could, tired of crying, and tired of being so useless to his brother. He punched the wall again and again, yellow paint giving away to crumbling plaster, the dry bits and dust clinging to his bloody hands. His knuckles screamed in protest, his arms ached from each blow until finally after a large hole was made and he stopped, breathing hard his chest rose and fell heavily. A sheen of sweat slicked his hair to his forehead, his nostrils flared in rage as he slid his teary eyes over to the mirror.

He skin was flushed, veins rising to the surface in his neck as he angrily clenched his jaw. Sam stared at himself, knowing that Sam and Dean should be switched right now. Sam was the one who was supposed to be the monster, he was the one with the visions, the one who was the freak. Not Dean, never Dean, and this was all just wrong, and Sam had to make it right.

His face pulled back in a snarl as he swung as hard as he could at the mirror, his reflection taunting him at just how wrong he was, he sent it shattering away. Shards sliced his hands and arms as it crashed loudly to the floor, Sam stepped back until he hit the wall and slowly sank down.

Sobs rocked his body, he ran bloodied hands through messy hair as he let himself break down. He let his mind go numb as he just let the tears come, pulling his knees in he tried to just curl up away from the world.

After a while Sam stood, tears dried and face hard with determination. He was done being weak, he was going to save Dean. His brother always looked out for him, it was his time to stand up and save Dean. He didn't know how, but he knew he would die before giving up.

His eyes fell to the shards of glass on the floor, multiple reflections looked up at him as he made himself a promise, one to Dean and one to himself.

And he would die before breaking either.

xXx

Bobby came back later in the evening, dinner in hand wearing a suit said he had been digging up answers.

They sat in the softly lit room eating the Cajun food he had picked up, the spices and herbs wafting throughout the small space. If Dean was awake Sam knew he would be loving the food.

"Well, went back to the place where you shot the thing to see if I could find the body. Nothin' there so I went down to the station, figured they would call in animal control to collect the body and perform an autopsy." Bobby said gruffly as he scratched his beard.

"Wait, Loup Garous don't turn back when they die?" Sam questioned.

"Nope, not this breed. You die in lupine form, you're stuck that way. Anyway, police said they had called, but when the men went down to retrieve the body, the thing was gone and the two officers on watch were knocked out. No one knows where it went, but they were real disappointed it was gone." Bobby chuckled at the last part as the memory came to mind.

"Sad cause they thought they had some body to get rich off of with tourist hype about rare species or werewolves?" Sam asked with a small smile, he knew the type looking for a quick buck.

"A few of 'em, yeah, but the older officers know all the legends of the Loup Garou. A lot of 'em thought they were here the whole time, this was proof, then it was gone. One told me he remembered his mama tellin' 'im if he didn't listen to the bible the Loup Garou was gonna get 'im, said he was glad he listened." Bobby smiled and took another sip of his pop.

"So, any idea of what could have took the body?" Sam picked up his trash and began walking over to the garbage can, waiting for Bobby's answer.

"Probably a pack, which if that is the case, we may have to get the hell outta dodge as soon as Dean wakes up. I'm assuming they don't know she performed the ritual, just got herself so worked up on revenge she attacked the hunter who did it, but if they start lookin'…" Bobby trailed off and met Sam with a worried look.

"We start runnin', I understand. So what all do we know about the Loup Garou? I mean during the research I found so many different stories about them it was pretty much impossible to separate fact from fiction, but are they pretty much the same as the other breed of werewolf? Only they actually shift?" Sam turned on his laptop as he planned to continue that research for the rest of the evening.

Bobby sighed and gave a shrug, "Honestly, not to damn much. They were descendants of the French settlers, so they trace back to the European bloodline, and when you read up on the European myth of the werewolf, it's just as damn useless. All a bunch of religious bull, the only few facts hunter know for sure is that werewolves must feed on human hearts once they have shifted, and that they can only be killed with silver. Never really had the opportunity to sit down and sit with one, ya know?"

Sam nodded, his breath hitching as Bobby mentioned the feeding on human hearts, but he pushed it away as he typed "Loup Garou" into his database of scanned archives.

"Well, I better head back to the motel, how long has he been asleep for?" Bobby asked as he got up.

"Eight days."

"Hmm, should be wakin' up in a few more days then, if were right, but I pray to God the boy proves us wrong." Bobby sighed and headed for the door, calloused hand reaching for the handle he turned to give Sam a goodbye.

"Bobby… I need you to promise me something." Sam says, suddenly nervous.

"What is it Sam?" Bobby asked with questioning eyes from beneath his hat.

"We can't tell Dean about what he might become. I know how he's going to react, and we… we just can't let him know" Sam met Bobby with pleading eyes.

Bobby went to protest, but he knew how right Sam was, and he knew just how far Dean would go, his face grew grim and he just nodded at Sam.

Sam nodded back and he brought his eyes back to the laptop, "Night Bobby."

When there was no response Sam looked up to find the doorway empty, sighing he gazed at Dean, finding himself utterly alone once again.

xXx

Next chapter-Dean wakes up. Oh my damn. :D


	5. My Way Home is Through You

So I took a bit longer getting this chapter up because I got another idea for this story, but it clashed with the previous. Longer explanations at the bottom, for now though, enjoy the story! :D

xXx

The next few days were excruciatingly much too slow for Sam. The doctors were becoming suspicious why Dean as not awakening when all his signs were doing so good, they wanted to send him else where but Sam made them keep him there. They removed the breathing tube, his heart rate and breathing now completely back to normal he no longer needed it.

He knew Dean would wake up, and when he did his healing would start speeding up even more, he didn't need more doctors watching over him to get suspicious.

Day fourteen finally arrived. Sam sat with bated breath all night, waiting and waiting for his brother to wake up. Often he would think maybe Bobby and him were wrong, maybe Dean had a real injury, maybe Dean needed real help.

It was three in the afternoon as Sam sat next to Dean's bed, only half reading a book. The sunlight streamed in through the blinds, it was a beautiful fall day outside that window, and Sam just wished Dean and him could be out there enjoying it. Both them inside the Impala, windows down letting the cool air in as they strolled across the country to their next hunt.

Sam sighed and closed the book at the thought, eyes glued on Dean once again.

Hopefully that dream would come true very soon.

xXx

_Dean was going crazy. He felt like he had been trapped in this swamp for all of time, never able to get out. Maybe he had died and this was hell. Yeah, that had to be it. _

_Dean hated that HE kept changing but never did the landscape. He didn't know how or why he did, but sometimes he was Dean and sometimes he was… that monster. He would roar at somebody to turn him back until his lungs were raw, and then he would suddenly find himself human._

_He hated it, he hated it so damn much._

_Most of all he hated that he didn't know where Sam was, if he was okay, if he was out looking for him._

_This time Dean was human, he was sitting beneath and old moss covered willow. The full moon light he had become so used was filtering through the swaying leaves, seeming to taunt him with the power it held. He gave a frustrated sigh and looked through the trees to a clearing that he had explored many times, often it ended up with him just looping back in a circle to a swamp._

_But this time something was different. He couldn't place it, but the clearing looked different, the long grass swayed easily in the light breeze, the humid air hanging heavy in the air over the place as always. Then he saw it, light peeking over the tree tops and hitting the clearing, shades of oranges, yellows, blues and purples began to splash the sky._

_Dean sprang up, excitement and hope filling him as something finally changed. He began to walk through the trees into the clearing, his boots crunching on dry leaves and twigs until he came to the soft grass. He stared up at the sky as it grew brighter, he stepped further into the clearing, until a soft growl made him stop and look back._

_A dirty blonde colored wolf looked at him with sharp green eyes, its ears were perked curiously as it watched him go. The swamp remained dark, the full moon illuminating the large wolf as it stared at him._

_He chuckled coldly at it and sneered, "We're done here." He said simply, but the wolf only stared back._

"_Dean, we'll never be done."_

_But before he could respond the light engulfed Dean, and in an instant he was gone._

xXx

A gasp startled Sam from his half asleep mode, and suddenly Dean was awake, choking and sputtering as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"A little help in here!" Sam yelled as he stood and rested a hand on his brother's shoulder to calm him down.

"It's okay Dean, you're alright, calm down." Sam said softly as Dean's bright green eyes looked around in panic and confusion.

Dean tried to speak but only a raspy, dry response came out from lack of use and the wound that was still healing.

"Don't try and talk Dean, just calm down and let these doctors look over you then I'll explain everything, okay?" Sam looked at him with soft eyes, Dean stared back with fear and confusion but only nodded as he stopped struggling against the doctors grip.

"Good to have you back Dean." Dr. Banter said with a smile then began to check all of Dean's vitals, mumbling things with an odd expression on his face at some points. He finished with a look at Dean's neck injury, his breath hitching a bit as he lifted the bandage, but he quickly recovered as he met Sam's eyes.

"Mr. Westley, can I talk to you outside?" The doctor asked in a curious tone.

Right now the only thing Sam wanted to do was talk with his big brother who he had been waiting to wake up for the past two weeks. But he knew why the doctor wanted to talk to him, and he mine as well clear it up before things got out of hand.

"Dean, I will be right back, do NOT move." Sam commanded as he stood up.

Dean glared back but gave a sharp nod, taking the opportunity to look over himself and figure out what all had happened.

Sam followed the doctor with his work boots clunking loudly on the polished floor, he shut the door behind him and looked to the doctor with curious eyes.

"Mr. Westley, your brother has almost completely healed virtually overnight. Yesterday he still had a large laceration on his neck, muscle tissue that could not regenerate is suddenly there today, and he only has a scar to show anything ever happened. Now, I'm not one to usually believe in miracles or question when good things happen, but in thirty years I have never seen anything like this." Dr. Banter looked at Sam with wide shocked eyes, waiting for the young hunter to give him some kind of answer.

"So does that mean Dean is free to go?" Sam responded with a change of subject.

The doctor sighed with disappointment and let his shoulders drop as Sam didn't give him a thing to go on, but nodded.

"Yes, he has to stay the night to be safe and we have to do a spine x ray to check his fractures, but if it's like the rest of his injuries, then he should be able to leave tomorrow afternoon. Never thought I'd be saying that two weeks ago…" With that Dr. Banter turned and left, obviously going off to contemplate the curious case of Dean Westley.

Sam opened the room door and stepped back in, Dean looking at him with questioning eyes.

Sam wanted to do nothing more then just enjoy this moment, his big brother was awake, he felt like he had just won the lottery. His heart pounded loudly in joy and excitement, near death experiences really made you appreciate people Sam realized, but instead just gave Dean a small smile and sat down next to his big brother.

"Good to have ya back amongst the living dude." Sam chuckled and gave Dean a pat on the shoulder, still amazed his brother was actually awake. The touch seemed to cement it, make it really true for Sam, and he tried not to show his watering eyes as he met Dean's.

"Talk, now." Dean rasped out, eyes still full of questions.

Sam rolled his eyes and his smile grew at Dean's stubbornness, he leaned back in the chair, pulling his hands behind his head as he looked back at his brother.

"Doctor says you can go home tomorrow." Sam replied simply with a smile, obviously trying to avoid the matter at hand.

Dean rolled his eyes and glared up at Sam, "What put me here?"

Sam sighed and sat down, he had been dreading this moment, because this was the moment he would bluntly lie to his big brother.

"What do you remember?" Sam asked.

Dean thought for a moment then gave a small shrug, wincing as it sent a sting through his shoulder and neck.

"Nothing, we had just finished killing that Loup Garou, were back at the motel and then it's blank." Dean's voice gaining more strength with each word.

Sam gave a sigh of relief, because that meant the easier rout of explanation on his part.

"We were attacked by a Voodoo priestess, apparently we killed her Loup Garou henchman. She knocked me out first but she… she hurt you pretty bad Dean. You've been in a coma for two weeks, had some major wounds and a few breaks, lucky to be alive really. Bobby and I took care of the bitch though, so no worries bout getting your revenge." Sam smiled, he really just wanted to reach in and give his big brother a hug, he was so happy that Dean was here, with him and not dead.

Dean nodded, looking at the cast on his leg and arm with suspicious eyes. He lifted his hand and felt the large bandage on his neck, and then he looked to Sam with a small smile.

"Glad to be back and kickin' then Sammy." He rasped and set a hand on Sam's shoulder, Sam returning it with a big smile and chuckle, just happy to see his brother alive.

But a small voice gnawed in the back of Sam's mind, one that could not let him be happy until the lie was over with. But he had to wait, because Dean would not understand, and he just needed him too.

He couldn't lose Dean, not now, not ever.

xXx

The next morning came with much excitement and many visitors. Nurse Byrd stopped in with homemade chocolate chip muffins for both the boys, happy to finally meet Dean.

"Boy, you had us all worried to death, don't you be putting your brother through that ever again, ya hear me?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow, Dean only nodded as he eagerly ate the delicious muffin.

"And you, I'll let the wall slide this time, but you better promise to take care of yourself an your brother here young man." She told Sam with a smile.

Sam laughed and stood up, giving Nurse Byrd a tight hug of thanks.

"Thank you, really. And I am sorry bout the wall, but I'll try and look after Dean as best as I can." He laughed, knowing Dean would have some response to that.

"You look after me? Yeah, right." Dean said through a mouthful of muffin, voice completely back to normal after a night of talking with Sam.

Nurse Byrd only rolled her eyes and gave a small wave as she exited the room.

"Be seein' ya boys around, don't be shy now!" She gave a wink and left, brother's eyes meeting as the door closed in a knowing of how they wouldn't be back, but their legend would seem to loom over the place for ages to come.

Bobby followed in, smile breaking on his face as he gave Dean a tight hug.

"Good to have ya back boy."

"Glad to be back." Dean said with a smile, eyes shining excitedly as the afternoon and his freedom approached.

Dean was taken to get the casts removed and x rays done, everything checking out completely normal, only a few things were minor injuries remained, but nothing some pain medication and rest couldn't take care of. The staff was baffled and pleased, all bidding Sam and Dean a goodbye as they packed up their things and wheeled Dean to the front door.

"Dude, Sam, did you never leave? How the hell do all these people know us? And can't I friggin' walk?" Dean grumbled in frustration as the sliding door opened and Bobby waited with the Impala.

"Dean, I lived here for two weeks waiting for you to wake up, so yeah, I know everyone who took care of you. And you can't walk because it's hospital policy, you fall, you could sue, run of the mill law stuff." Sam answered as he opened the passenger door and let the aid help Dean in.

Sam threw their belongings into the trunk and slammed it shut, giving a wave to a few people who had gathered by the door as their seemingly favorite patient and brother left. He gave Bobby a nod, the older hunter gave Sam a serious look as he laid his hand on the younger hunters shoulder and leaned in to whisper something.

"Watch for the other signs, hunger, mood swings, want to be outside, closer we get to the full moon, gonna be harder for Dean not to notice himself changing. You got the directions?" Bobby said softly.

Sam nodded and licked his lips nervously as he gave Bobby a worried look. He hated this, and so did Bobby, but they knew it was the only way.

Bobby let Sam get in the drivers seat and shut the door after him, leaning in the window as he looked over both the boys.

"You boys take care, I'll be seein' ya around." With that he gave a wave and stepped back, the brother giving a thanks and wave as Sam roared the Impala to life.

"Don't hurt my car." Dean said as he pulled on his sunglasses and leaned his head back.

Sam chuckled and pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward the freeway.

"So, are we spending a night here or we heading to a different state?" Sam asked, knowing he would eventually have to make his way to Michigan.

"Get us the hell outta here Sammy, for some reason I can't stand the though of another night in this swamp land." Dean said as he watched the scenery roll by.

Sam nodded and pressed the gas harder, he felt the cool breeze on his face, the sun was shining and the road lay out before them. Sam's dream of being back with his brother had come true… but he knew it was only the beginning of a nightmare.

xXx

Okay, so I have 2 very different directions for this story to go. One is very angsty and hurt filled, which was my original idea. But then this second idea came that is more action and light hearted. So I ask that you please leave a review with which way you would like to see it go, because I've started both, but love them both so much I can't decide! So please put either "angst" or "action" and then I'll try and come to a decision! Thank you! :D


	6. Its Just Begun

**Thank you to all who left a review with their input on the previous chapters question of "angst" or "action"! Results at the bottom, enjoy the chapter! :D**

xXx

Sam had driven all through the night and after mass complaining from his older brother let a very frustrated Dean take the wheel the next morning. Dean went on and on about how he was clearly able to drive until Sam had finally given in, exhausted from the wreck of the past two weeks and all night of driving anyhow.

Sam found it hard to fall asleep however as the worry of what was happening to Dean constantly nagged at him, the thought unable to leave his mind so he could think of other things.

It was late afternoon as they drove through Tennessee heading toward a hunt Bobby had informed them about in Michigan. Sam had insisted Dean take a break, but he wanted to jump right back in, repeating for the seemingly thousandth time that he was just fine.

"So, nothing happened to you while facing the Voodoo priestess right? I mean she knocked me a good one, just want to make sure you're okay?" Dean questioned to veer the subject away from himself.

Sam swallowed and sent his brother a nervous glance.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just been a bit stressed out with you out for the past two weeks." Sam said, gaze returning to the scenery.

"Well, it's not nearly as fun without me around." Dean smiled, the early evening light dancing on his shining green eyes.

Sam gave a nod but didn't say anything, he only continued to watch the passing scenery with sad eyes, the silence made Dean look over with a worried look.

"Sure you're okay Sammy?" He asked again.

Sam's eyes flicked down to his hands, he just wanted to shout out what was happening to Dean, tell him the truth, but he knew he couldn't… he just couldn't have his brother write himself off that fast.

"Yeah, 'm good." He replied softly.

Dean shrugged and returned his attention to the road, he saw a sign advertising for a motel up ahead and gave Sam a nudge to indicate it.

"Wanna stop for the night? I could use a few beers, been way to damn long." Dean flashed his cocky smile and Sam returned it with a quick twitch of his lips.

"Sounds good."

"Alright, don't get too excited now." Dean joked, his good mood seeming to go undiminished.

Sam said nothing, only let his eyes flick to the half moon rising in the early sunset, the light blue sky paling it like a ghost. But he knew it would make its full appearance soon enough, and that's what he dreaded.

xXx

Dean pulled the Impala into the run of the mill cheap motel they had become so accustom to staying in. The gravel parking lot was full of holes, most of the doors were missing numbers, blinds were half missing and the color of the paint could no longer be determined in the soft yellow streetlights.

The brothers hauled their bags to the clerk, Dean gimping a bit from the slight pain that still ached in his leg, but he ignored it as best as he could.

"Two singles please." He slid the fake credit card to the older woman who sat behind the glass.

She was in her late fifties, a heavier woman with hair so fried from dying it appeared to look like steel wool. Her glasses were rather out dated, thick and clunky on her wrinkled face. She had so much makeup on Dean wondered how she could even see and red lipstick stuck out sharply against her pale white skin.

She grabbed the card and her fingers brushed Dean's, making her glance up and meet his eyes. Her face became almost fearful and she kept glancing back and forth between Dean and the credit card machine, hands shaking as she did so.

Slowly she handed back the card and receipt, clearly trying to calm herself, but her face was clearly flushed and her breathing nervous. Her fingernails were pained that same dreadful lipstick red, and they stuck out just as sharply against her puffy, pale hands.

"Here you are sir, if you need _**anything**_**,** just let me know, it's Cindy." She smiled up at him with yellowed teeth and the bright red lipstick that seemed to never come off.

Dean's face twitched and his eyebrows knitted in fear and disgust as the meaning behind _**anything **_registered.

"Yeah, thanks Cindy, I'll ahh, I'll keep that in mind." Dean said, grabbing his receipt and turning away, shivering in disgust as he did so.

Sam was trying to sustain his laughter at both the situation and the horrified look stuck on Dean's face.

"Not funny dude, usually I don't mind women flirting, but when they full on offer favors and _anything's_ and they are double my age… what the hell?!" Dean said in a screeched whisper as he quickly opened their door and let them in.

Sam laughed and only shook his head as he unloaded his stuff on his bed, Dean mumbling to himself about weird female clerks.

"You bring it upon yourself, ya know." Sam mocked, smiling as he pulled out his laptop.

Dean only grumbled a response as he finished putting his clothes in the dresser, he went in the bathroom and eyed the bandage in the mirror. Carefully he removed the unsightly patch, expecting a large wound of some kind, but was pleasantly surprised when all that was visible was a small slashed shaped scar. He nodded in approval then turned to Sam and his brow went up in surprise.

"Dude, no research, we're going to a bar. If I ever needed a beer, this would be the time." Dean said as he grabbed his keys and approached Sam who gave his brother a disappointed look and a sigh.

"Fine…" Sam said, the last thing he wanted to do was go to a bar tonight, but they needed money and Dean needed beer. There was no argument.

As they exited the room Dean rushed to the Impala, clearly trying to avoid making awkward eye contact with the clerk. Sam chanced a glance and saw the older woman waving at them. Sam laughed and turned to Dean.

"Dean, you're stalker is waving at you."

Dean gave a look while fiddling with the keys trying to unlock the Impala, the woman blew him a kiss and waved again. Dean made a face of repulse and as soon as the key clicked, quickly got in the car. Sam followed laughing at his brother and his troubles.

"Next strip club we find Sammy, we stop. Got it?"

xXx

The bar was crowded on the late Friday night. It was a local tavern with many of the towns people seeming to come here and enjoy the cheap beer and pool games that offered cash winnings. It was a large setup, with the oak table bar running along one wall, tables and booths on the opposite sides, a small wooden dance floor and stage set up against the far wall.

Sam and Dean stepped in unnoticed as the crowd enjoyed the loud live music and drank up, Sam went and claimed a small table for two in the corner closest to the dance floor as Dean went off to grab beer.

Dean scanned the crowd with excited eyes, he was in an especially good mood tonight, head bobbing with the beat of the more modern music that played as he waited for the pitcher of beer he had ordered for Sam and him. He was in between two beautiful young ladies about his age, he kept sending them mischievous smiles and they would return them with fits of giggles.

His pitcher came and the woman who was bar tending shot him a fiery look, face lighting up as her eyes met his.

"Don't worry, it's on me tonight." She said as she slid the pitcher over, resting herself on the table for Dean's viewing pleasure.

Dean's grin grew wide and he looked around.

"Gonna be a good night!" He shouted and raised the pitcher, the women giving shouts of encouragement.

Dean chuckled as he made his way back through the crowd and over to Sam.

"Dude! This is an amazing town, the woman practically throw themselves at you!" Dean said as he poured his glass full, chugging down the foamy liquid as he continued to search the room with quick eyes.

Sam gave his brother a curious glance and sipped his own beer, eyes sweeping the crowd as they danced and drank the night away.

"Sam, life is to short, I'm off to dance with some beautiful woman."

Before Sam could respond Dean was off, it was odd to Sam, sure Dean flirted, but he wasn't much of a public dancer.

Sam sighed as the thought of something more going on in Dean's mind crossed his thoughts.

With beer in hand Dean returned to the bar, a group of women crowded around it sipping their mixed drinks and chatting loudly.

"Evening ladies! I was about to get on the dance floor, but I couldn't help but notice how lonely I would be out there." Dean said with eyes darting back and forth between the group of seven, he counted, women.

"Anyone want to join me?" A grin grew on his face as he waited for a response, all their faces lighting up with mischievous smiles and passionate eyes, all answering him with a resounding yes as they rushed him.

Dean was almost carried to the dance floor as him and the woman began to sway with the beat. A rap song that Dean would never listen to suddenly came on and the woman let out cheers of happiness, apparently it was their favorite. Dean could care less as one woman began to grind on him slowly and several others brushed him excitedly.

Dean's heartbeat was quick, he was suddenly consumed with all that was going on around him. The room seemed to slow, the music played loudly as he swayed with the beat, the smell of perfume, alcohol and cigarettes filled his nose. His hands brushed against the woman in front of him, hour glass figure, dark brown hair that shined in the soft lights. His breath hitched at the sensation sent through his body, making him shiver in pleasure.

He let everything fade away, he only wanted that touch, that feel as he let the women grow closer and his hands rest on hips before moving to another. He felt someone sneak their hands under his shirt on his own skin and it sent another shiver of want down his spine. He didn't turn to look though, he just let the sensation linger, taking in every moment of it.

The lights suddenly flicked off and strobe lights were turned on, the crowd roaring in joy as a techno song came on, the bars youth seeming to take over the place.

Dean's sway quickened and he only saw flashes of faces with wanting eyes and Cheshire grins in the flashing light. His heartbeat was so fast now it pounded in his ears, skin beginning to dampen with sweat as the song grew more intense.

Dean felt arms wrap around his neck and he looked down into two large blue eyes as he slid his hands down to her waist. She pulled him into a passionate kiss and Dean willingly followed, suddenly his arousal spiking and his want, his need, growing more urgent.

The other girls gave groans of disappointment, leaving Dean and the blue eyed brunette to their make out session in the middle of the dance floor.

Dean pressed himself closer, nostrils flaring as he took in her scent of lime and coconut, hands went under her shirt to feel her soft skin, his ears hearing only the quick beat of the fast song that seemed to match the rushing of his heart.

Dean's world was suddenly torn apart as a rough hand pulled him off and threw him back. He steadied himself, sneer on his face as he looked to his opponent.

It was a big quarter back looking guy with broad shoulders and beady eyes, crew cut and a hooked nose. Dean sighed, he had dealt with these types before, all show really.

He couldn't bring his heartbeat down as adrenaline rushed through his veins, he felt his blood boil in his skin. Who the hell was this guy to just rip him off a girl who was clearly enjoying his company. He felt the anger rise, like an itch in the back of his mind, he felt his blood rushing to his muscles as they readied for a fight that he more then wanted.

"What the hell you doin' with my girlfriend?" The guy shouted over the music, the lights picking back up as the song changed to rock.

"Just havin' a little fun, that's all." Dean shrugged, beginning to circle the guy.

"Really? How bout you find your fun elsewhere?" The guy growled, stepping closer to Dean.

Dean continued to circle him with taunting eyes, his mouth twisted in a half smile.

"Nah." He said simply.

"Excuse me?" The guys eyes narrowed as he glared at Dean.

"Got a hearing problem buddy? I said No." Dean stopped and met the guys eyes, Dean's seeming to grow with a primal rage that didn't seem right.

Sam had been minding his own business in his own deep thoughts as the music played and Dean danced with a group of girls, but his attention was brought elsewhere as the light shut off and a strobe was turned on. He had struck up on conversation with a few people until the lights came on and he chanced a glance to the dance floor.

Sure enough Dean was making out with some girl, Sam only sighed and returned to his drink. What did catch his attention was when the music stopped and everyone was falling silent and their attention turned to the center of the floor.

"_Oh God, please don't be Dean, please don't be Dean…"_ He prayed and looked back to the floor.

It was Dean.

Dean saw the guy swing a sloppy punch, easily dodging it and sending one of his own into the guys chin. The guy grabbed Dean's shirt and tried to throw him down, but Dean easily steadied himself as he landed in a crouching position, springing at the mans midsection in a tackle. The man outweighed Dean a great deal, but easily collapsed under Dean's powerful attack. Dean had quickly gained the upper hand, now atop the man as he struggled beneath him.

Dean felt the anger swell, the need and want changed from her to just ripping into this guy. No coherent thoughts ran through his head, blood just rushed as he felt his knuckles connect with bone, he pulled back for another but a strong hand suddenly grabbed him and yanked him off.

"Dean, what the Hell are you doing?!" Sam yelled, Dean's chest rising up and down quickly in fury.

Dean was suddenly grounded by the look of fear in his little brothers eyes, the anger fading, the blood suddenly cooling as he looked around with a softening expression. Everyone in the bar stared at him angrily, the man was being helped up from the floor, his face a bloody mess.

Dean looked to his hands, the knuckles covered in crimson blood, he wondered where it had come from, but didn't have time to recall as he looked back and a group of men were suddenly approaching him.

Sam gave a rough grab and they were suddenly sprinting toward the door. Dean was glad he left the doors unlocked as he dove in, Sam right behind him as they sped off, a few men hitting the car and giving angry shouts as they passed by.

Dean felt his heart slowing, his breathing returning to normal as he calmed down. Sam was breathing hard and kept sending Dean worried expressions, questions running through his mind.

"Dean, what the hell was that in there?" Sam asked in a desperate tone.

Dean watched the road intently, pausing to answer. He could tell Sam the truth, in which was he had no idea why he had suddenly been taken over by such emotions, which would only worry his brother more. Or he could give Sam some cocky lie, which would piss his brother off but not have him so uptight.

Dean's face suddenly widened in a grin and he turned the radio up, eyes catching Sam's as he rocked to the beat.

"Just havin' a little fun Sammy! I've been dyin' for an old school brawl, ya know?" He chuckled and pulled into the motel.

Sam held the look, but then sighed and shook his head in frustration.

"Next time, cool it Dean." Sam said softly as he got out, slamming the door he headed to the room in a hurry.

Dean paused, smile dropping as soon as Sam was out of sight as he looked in his review mirror. He looked into his eyes, wondering why he had so suddenly snapped on the poor bastard. He licked his lips nervously and stepped out of the Impala, he ran a hand through his short hair and let it run over his face, worried thoughts rolling over in his mind. He leaned against the sleek car that shined brightly in the pale moonlight, looking up he noticed the half moon smiling down at him. He gave a shiver, its appearance making a cold chill run through his spine, but he had no idea why.

With a sigh he headed toward the room, hoping a nights sleep would return him to normality.

xXx

**Results are in from the previous question, although I wanted to clarify one thing I should have in my previous post, my apologies for the information gap.**

**Both story lines of action and angst still have other elements, example, angst still has action and action still has angst, however, the prominent story lines were very different in there overall plot and tone. A lot of input wanted the two mixed, and I've come to the conclusion, with the votes in, to go with the winner of "Angst"!**

**However, don't you fear you action loving readers, because I've taken some action sequences from the other storyline and mixed them in for your reading pleasure. So I hope to please both with a blend, but beware you angst loving fanfictioners, the next few chapters maybe lighthearted but after that… it gets rough… and there's no going back… so just remember you asked for it!**

**Thanks for reading! Cheers! :D**


	7. Hungry Like the Wolf

**Unsure how I feel about this chapter, for 2 reasons, Dean seems a little OOC and it's just kinda rough too me. But I guess since he's going through a transformation he's going to be a little OOC in a sense? IDK, just let me know what ya think! Enjoy! :D**

**xXx**

The next morning Dean was awakened by the churning hunger in his stomach, which was not unusual in any way, but he realized it must have been ages since he ate a good meal. He yawned lazily as he shoved the scratchy covers off and started his morning routine, he found a note from Sam saying he had gone to the local library for a better wi-fi connection. He sighed at Sam's geekiness but knew his little brother would be back with all the research they needed for their next hunt.

As he got into the shower the hunger in his stomach became so strong he started to feel sick. He swallowed hard as nausea took over and tried to let the hot water relax the tight knots in his gut.

He had lost weight since being in the hospital, his frame thinner upon waking, he realized he had some catching up to do and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with a big breakfast. He finished showering, thoughts of food on his mind the entire time until he switched off the water and quickly dried himself, pulled on clean clothes and grabbed his car keys.

He left a note for Sam in case he got back saying he had gone out to get breakfast and pick up some supplies. With the note signed he quickly exited and headed for the Impala, finding himself so concentrated on getting food he couldn't really think about anything else.

He glanced at his clock, finding it was nine a.m. still to early for anyone to be serving lunch, but what he craved right now was a double bacon cheeseburger. His mouth watered at the thought, roaring the engine to life as he realized he had to eat somewhere soon or he was going to pass out.

It didn't take him long to find the local diner, grinning as the neon sign came into sight his heart leapt with joy at the thought of food at last. He pulled the Impala in and killed the engine, grabbing his phone he got out and headed for the small place, whistling happily as he did so.

He pulled open the glass door, holding it for an old couple as they made their way out. He gave them a nod and smile as they thanked him then dashed in, excited to be at a place of food at last.

A sudden horrible scent hit him though, literally making him step back in disgust. His stomach suddenly churned and threatened to bring back up what was left in it from last night. It smelled putrid, like a mix of old milk and garbage. A waitress came into Dean's view and asked him how many, but he just shook his head as the nausea grew stronger until he turned and bolted out of the place.

He gulped down the fresh air, sweat pouring from his skin as he suddenly felt terribly sick. His brow knitted tightly together in confusion, one minute he was starving to death, the next sick from the scent of food.

He felt his stomach relaxing as he got further away from the scents of the diner, the clean air refreshing his mind and clearing his head. He gave a frustrated sigh as he debated what to do, the hunger was returning, but clearly the diner was not the answer. He turned the Impala on with frustration, mumbling about damn comas messing up his system.

He drove through town, finding a few more diners he debated on until he saw a wooden sign with an arrow reading, "Buck's 24 Hour Steak House". Dean's eyes lit up in excitement, red meat had never sounded so good, he would have to give it a try.

He followed the side street until he reached the small log cabin restaurant, wind chimes and rocking chairs on the front porch dining area giving it a homey feel. Dean parked in the deserted lot, only two other cars in the customers parking indicated no body was up for steak this early in the morning. But Dean sure as hell was, he had no idea why, maybe his iron was low, he shrugged at the idea then got out of the car and headed for the entrance.

He opened the door slowly, expecting the place to repulse him as the diner had. He slowly stepped in as he looked around the small place. The only scent here was that of steak cooking over an open flame, and it beckoned him, Dean easily obliging.

The place was dimly lit, a fire place was glowing with flickering flames and going steady, animals hung all over the walls and pictures of meat cuts decorated the place. The lone waitress seated him in a booth next to the bar, handing him a menu as she asked him what he would like to drink.

"Water, please." Dean replied.

He scanned the menu quickly, they offered a top sirloin, ranging from a pound to a pound and a half that was meant to be spilt between two or three people. Dean chuckled at that idea as he decided on the cut, mouth watering once again in desire.

The waitress returned with his water and notepad in hand, her smile lit up as she gave him a second look over and asked him what he would like in a flirtatious tone.

"What can I get ya?" She grinned.

Dean politely smiled back, women were the last thing on his mind after last night, he just wanted to eat.

"Top sirloin, rare please." He handed back his menu and gave her a nod as she went off to place his order.

Dean squirmed and moved about impatiently as he waited for his food. He had never been stuck on the thought of food this bad, he knew he loved to eat, but this was on the verge of ridiculousness.

The scent of cooking meat wafted from the closed kitchen doors until it hit his nostrils. He licked his lips as salvia dampened his mouth, his heart picked up in excitement as his eyes darted quickly around the place. His stomach growled loudly, demanding food now. His eyes kept flicking to the clock, the hands taunting him as they slowly ticked by. He felt himself growing impatient and angry, how long did it take to cook a friggin' steak?!

Just when he thought he could take it no longer the waitress pushed open the door, plate of steaming meat in hand. Dean's eyes lit up and he raised in his seat, scent rolling off it so delicious he didn't think he could take it much longer.

She set it down and Dean had to stop himself from tearing the plate from her hands.

"Anything else sir?" She questioned as he quickly pulled the plate closer, grabbing a fork and knife.

"No, no, I'm good." He replied in an irritated tone, he just wanted to eat in peace.

She left with an annoyed look on her face but Dean barley noticed as he quickly cut into his steak, juice pouring from it as the knife sliced through the tender red meat. He quickly shoveled it into his mouth, chewing rapidly then swallowing, but not before another mouthful was bit off.

His stomach seemed to grow even hungrier though as he ate, the fork and knife were just going to slow and without a second thought he dropped them and grabbed the steak with his hands, biting off large chunks of beef so rapidly that he barley had time too chew before swallowing.

When the waitress came over to check on him, she eyed him oddly, and asked if everything was okay.

"Great, get me another steak though." He practically growled through the mouthful of meat.

She eyed him as she returned to the kitchen, placing an order for a second before he was even half way down with his first.

He was consumed with filling this void in his middle, the hunger so great that the steak seemed to add more need for the meat rather then taking the edge off. His eyes grew dark as he realized he was nearly finished with this one, where was the second?

He felt that same itch of anger starting in the back of his mind. He licked the blood off his hands as he waited for the second meal, edgy with hunger and impatience. The scent of cooking meat was so strong in his nose it was almost unbearable, made him twitch anxiously with anticipation.

She arrived with the second, Dean pulling it out of her hands as he mumbled for another. Her look was mixed with disgust and confusion but she quickly returned to the kitchen to place yet another order.

Dean chomped quickly through the pound of meat, blood dripping off his chin and finger tips as he thought of nothing else but indulging on this wonderful meat before him. He finished it before he knew it, and eagerly searched for the next, snatching it off the plate as soon as it arrived, he growled for "a few more" and the waitress went to say something, but silenced as Dean snapped a quick glare at her. His eyes had an unnatural shine that reminded her of a rabid animal, narrowed and dangerous. Blood dripped off his chin and he slowly licked his bottom lip, his mouth in a slight snarl as he looked her over.

"I said a few more, please." He said lowly, anger filling him as she almost refused to bring him more.

She scampered back to the kitchen in fear, eyes darting back to Dean in fright.

Dean's mind was blank as he tore off chunks of the fresh meat and eagerly swallowed the delicious food, he could only think of satisfying that emptiness. He ate until he lost track of time, until suddenly his stomach screamed at him to stop. He dropped the hunk of meat he was holding and grabbed at his now bulging gut, his organs protesting at the sudden large amount of food that suddenly occupied the space.

"Check please…" He gasped out as the waitress walked by.

Dean looked to his hands, finding them a bloody mess. He paused as he stared down at his blood covered fingers, meat under the nails and he realized how viciously he had just ate his meal. Occasionally he might get a bit crazy with food, but nothing ever like this. He wiped them off with his napkin and cleaned up his face as the waitress returned, thoughts unsure of what just happened, but they quickly faded away as another twinge of pain from fullness struck him.

"Have a good day sir." She squeaked and ran off before he could reply.

Dean gulped down some water, the liquid sending a spasm of ache through his stomach as it added to the load, he reached for the bill, flipping it over he nearly chocked on the drink.

Eight steaks later he owed ninety six dollars, not including the tip.

Dean looked to the table with wide eyes, the waitress had cleared the plates, and he had honestly lost count after three, but how could he eat eight pounds of meat without keeling over? He was feeling it now, but still it didn't explain why this feeling of fullness had not occurred, oh, seven steaks ago.

Dean staggered up, his middle heavy with the current meal, he slowly made his way over to the front desk finding it hard to breathe as he did so. He put down a one hundred dollar bill and a twenty, muttering for the waitress to keep the change.

As he made his way to the Impala he wanted to throw up so bad, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He sat down breathing heavy in the drivers seat. Slowly he pulled up his layers of clothes and found his stomach bulging in an unsightly manner. He groaned in pain and the thought of how he looked as he turned on the car and pulled out, making his way back to the motel.

Dean couldn't help but let the thought that maybe the voodoo priestess did something to him, he knew he wasn't being himself, and he didn't like it one bit.

xXx

"Bobby, it's started." Sam said as the older hunter picked up the phone. He heard a weary sigh and a gruff response.

"What is it?"

Sam recalled what happened last night, all the woman that were suddenly drawn to him like bees to honey and his turn in mood and abrupt aggression.

"I've never seen a look in his eyes like that Bobby, he was just so full of rage and hate, it was just so… not Dean." Sam sighed, the realization of how tough this task was going to be settling in his mind.

"It's not gonna get any better either. Dean's genetic makeup has essentially changed, woman are even more attracted to him because of the scent he's releasing now, it's stronger and more prominent then a human male. Women's mind connect the scent with the genes, the more different they are from their own, the more compatible. A Loup Garou is a whole different, stronger species, so members of the opposite sex subconsciously find it more mate worthy." Bobby explained, Sam's face twisting in disgust as he realized woman were all over Dean because of his scent.

"And to add to that, Dean wants 'em, more then his usual self. Kinda a Freud thing, subconscious always goes back to sex, only since the Loup Garou has wolf blood, sex is on their mind's a lot more then the average human." Bobby said with a seriousness that scared Sam a bit.

"Great… What else can I expect Bobby? I gotta get a handle on it before he loses control again." Sam said softly, peeking out the blinds to make sure Dean hadn't returned yet.

"Well, hunger is another major one. Loup Garous gorge themselves on meat usually once a day. One because the wolf instinct is embedded in them, so they are under the impression that they might not have a good meal for a while. Two, they have a crazy high metabolism, burn triple the amount of calories we do in a day, especially on the nights of the full moon." Bobby replied gruffly.

"Awesome. That's just what I need, Dean eating even more then he already does." Sam sighed.

"Yeah, and with the eating and energy burning comes a whole lot of napping, he's probably gonna start sleeping all day and being up all night. But the biggest thing you gotta watch yourself for is the mood swings, Sam. Loup Garous are edgy beasts, they have a sense of territory and dominance, any of those feel invaded they react, they don't think. I know he's your brother, but he won't be able to stop himself." Bobby sighed, finding the reality of what Dean was becoming harder with each fact.

"Alright Bobby, will do." Sam looked out the window, the Impala rolling in easily.

"I got another call Sam, from someone who might be able to give us some more information. I'll call ya later."

"Okay, thanks Bobby." Sam quickly hung up the phone and sat on the bed with a sigh, it was going to be a rough next few days.

The door creaked open and he heard Dean groan in pain as he stumbled in. Panic seized Sam as a million thoughts of what could have happened raced through his mind, without thinking he rushed to Dean's side.

"Dude, what happened?! Are you okay?" Sam asked, looking over Dean as he held his gut.

Dean didn't respond but sent Sam a stressed look as he was clearly uncomfortable. Dean plopped down on the bed and rolled over on his back, groaning as he did so.

Sam eyed him carefully, his chest rising and falling in quick pants as he tried to deal with some kind of pain. Sam eyed Dean's midsection, wondering how many layers he had on, and why they were so bunched up in the middle.

Sam's breath hitched as the conversation he just had with Bobby ran through his mind, quickly he pulled up Dean's shirt and found his brother stomach swelled triple the size it usually was. Sam's face twisted in shock and slight disgust, praying Dean had filled up on cheeseburgers and not something else.

Dean tried to push his shirt back down, mumbling to Sam something about not reminding him and he was being a perv.

"Dean, what the hell did you eat?!" Sam said, sitting across from his brother, brow together in confusion, mouth hanging open in shock.

"…Steak… so much steak…" Dean grumbled, his eyes closing as another pang of pain was sent through him.

Sam said nothing and only ran a nervous hand through his hair. Second sign so far, and they still had a week and a half until the few moon. Sam felt doubt sink in his heart, if he couldn't handle this, how the hell was he going to handle a full on shifted Dean?

He looked to Dean, who had quickly fallen asleep, swelled gut rising and falling in quick, stressed motions. Sam watched his brother for a few moments, recalling the promise he had made to Dean and himself that day in the hospital bathroom as he tore through the wall. He swore he wouldn't let Dean down, and that he would not give up.

He pulled his laptop out and booted it up, just as he was about to pull up his archives his phone rang, title reading "Bobby Singer". His brow dipped in concern, Bobby had said he would call back, but Sam had assumed not until much later.

Sam hurried outside and snapped open his phone as he shut the door behind him.

"Hello?" Sam said, zipping his coat in the chilly fall morning.

Silence responded on the other end, worrying Sam as the older hunter said nothing.

"Bobby, you there?" Sam asked curiously.

"Sam… I got some bad news…"


	8. Reject Yourself

**I left you guys with such an evil cliffy! :D Better reason to enjoy this chapter!**

**xXx**

Sam's heart picked up, nervousness and anxiety clutching it tightly as Bobby announced he had bad news.

"What is it now Bobby?" Sam whispered, unsure if he really wanted to know just how much worse it could get.

"Sam, I know we talked about lockin' I'm up and just feedin' 'im animal meat, but I just got a call from a friend of mine who is a voodoo priestess, helps Loup Garous out all the time, and she said they don't just have a want for human hearts… they _**need**_ them." Bobby sighed, Sam could hear the frustration in his voice.

Sam swallowed hard and slowly sat down on a bench outside the rooms.

"What do you exactly mean by _**need**_?" Sam asked, voice low.

"As in they get sick real fast an die without 'em. Turns out that Loup Garous, before king Lycaneon and his corrupted breed, were used as ancient police almost. They go all the way back to Sumerian times, the pack would seek out the hearts of the wicked under the full moon and eat them. They were created solely for that purpose, meaning they can't survive without eating a human heart once a month."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, his thoughts unorganized and in shambles as he processed the information. Dean was going to have to kill someone in order to live, every month until they found a cure, _**IF**_ one existed.

"Bobby, are you sure? Isn't there anything else he can feed on?" Sam sighed, he was at a complete loss.

"She said she was going to see the pack leader this afternoon, ask if anything else at all could suffice. I would have called you later after receiving that news, but she said I had to warn you about a few things before you came up dead." Bobby grumbled, clearly unhappy to be delivering such news.

Sam was unsure just how much more he could handle.

"And what would that be?" Sam asked.

"She said don't get near 'im when he's eating, which by the way he can no longer stomach normal food, just meats from here on out, avoid crowds, don't let him have sex with anyone unless you want a dead body on your hands. And ahh, lets see what else…" He could hear Bobby shuffling papers on the other side of the line.

Despite all the bad news Sam couldn't help but chuckle, Bobby had to make a list of these damn things? What kind of sick joke was life playing on the Winchesters now.

"Oh, senses are goin' to be getting real keen soon, gonna drive 'im up a wall since he has no idea how to use or control 'em, so try an avoid situations that might provoke an outburst. He's goin' to start getting' real excited at night, endorphins go crazy at night in new Loup Garou's until their first shift, almost like a natural high for them. And he'll be drawn to the woods, most comforting place for them to be. The Voodoo Priestess was gonna ask the pack leader somethin' else as well." Bobby Said, trying life Sam's spirits.

"What's that?" He said softly, unable to really find hope in a seemingly hopeless situation.

"See if Dean could come down and learn from the pack, if they would help him adjust to a new life." Bobby said, obviously trying to hint at more.

"Bobby, I don't thi-" but Sam couldn't finish his thought as Bobby angrily cut him off.

"Damn it Sam, I know this is hard but you have to be realistic boy! You have to tell your brother before he hurts someone else or himself, you can't go on with this lie. He's gonna figure it out sooner or later, and it'll be too late."

Sam sighed, he had thought about it, almost told Dean, but he knew what his brother would ask of him and he just couldn't do that. Not now, not ever. And he knew if he refused, Dean would do it himself.

"Bobby, I gotta go." With that Sam snapped his phone shut and cursed loudly, whipping the cell phone across the parking lot in anger.

He let his head fall against the wall behind him, pulling his hands through his hair as he tried to figure out some kind of plan. He knew once Dean did shift and figured out what he was he would refuse to kill any humans, even if they were evil. Sam sighed, he knew if it were him in Dean's place he would do the same, ask Dean to kill him, not let him hurt anyone. He also knew Dean would refuse. Sam had no idea what to do, he could feel the emotions building inside him, but refused to let them go as he repudiated to give up on his big brother.

Sam sighed, he would figure something out, he wasn't going to let his big brother down again.

**xXx**

Dean sighed in his sleep, he was just so nice and warm and cozy, full stomach and a warm bed, he couldn't ask for anything more. Dreams filtered in and out of his mind, meaningless images that would softly waver and fade.

Suddenly Dean saw an image that made all the happiness fall away, a snarling wolf was right in his face, red fur glistening in the pale moonlight with a blood covered muzzle, its bright green eyes flashed viciously as they bore into him.

He tried to get away, but he was trapped, trapped somewhere tight and airless, he had to get out, had to find a way out of here.

He felt something grasp his shoulder, he couldn't see him but he felt it trying to pull him back, back into the darkness. He whirled on his attacker and…

Dean suddenly found himself holding Sam by the throat against the motel wall, his little brother was struggling to breathe as Dean's hand held him in a death grip, Sam's feet dangling a foot above the ground. Sam's eyes were wide with terror, he was trying to plead with Dean, gasps of incoherent words coming out instead.

Dean gasped and released his little brother, recoiling back as reality smacked into him like semi truck, he had just been trying to kill Sam.

Sam looked up at him with fearful eyes, mouth hanging open in shock as he tried to steady his breathing, hand rubbing where his brothers grasp had just been, the bruise already appearing on his neck.

"Sam… I'm so… so sorry… I don't… I" Dean whispered, his eyes wide with confusion and fear, he looked at his hands, they were shaking in horror and fading anger. He met Sam's eyes, swallowing hard as he tried to process what was going on, the pain in his brother's eyes only worsening the guilt settling in his gut.

Suddenly Dean felt so trapped again. The motel room was too small, the air too thick and heavy, the scents of mildew and old cigarettes to much to take. He felt panic seize him, he didn't want to hurt Sam again, couldn't ever hurt him.

With a quick spin he sprinted out of the room, grabbing the door so roughly he pulled it clean off, but he didn't even look back as he ran away from the place. He faintly heard Sam call his voice but he ignored it as he pushed himself faster, he didn't know where he was going, all he knew was he needed to get **OUT**.

**xXx**

Sam cursed as he pulled himself off the floor, had Bobby not said not to invade Dean's personal space? Sam had seemingly ignored the warning as he heard Dean moaning and groaning in pain in his sleep. Sam had laid a hand on Dean gently trying to wake him up, but Dean wasn't responding at all and Sam had panicked.

He had tightened his grip and as he did so his world had spun out of control. In a flash Dean was holding him against the wall, a snarl on his face with that dark gleam in his eyes that was **NOT** Dean. Dean's strength easily overpowered Sam now, he had figured this out in worst way possible as he had tried to pry Dean's fingers off his neck. It had been like trying to bend steel. Not to mention the grip had nearly killed Sam, a few more seconds and Sam knew his windpipe would have been a goner.

Now his unstable brother was on the run, dusk settling in quickly and with it the dark of night. Sam had to find Dean, before he hurt someone else, he needed to figure out what the hell to do, and fast.

He quickly grabbed the Impala keys and headed for the car, he had no idea where Dean had gone, but his first guess would be to the nearest forest. Bobby said he would crave the comfort of the forest, the lack of civilization, and a national park wasn't even two miles east. Sam roared the car to life and sent gravel flying as he peeled out, determined to find his brother… and try to put their lives back together.

**xXx**

Dean didn't know where he was running, he didn't care, as long as it was **away** was good enough for him. Scents of suburbia surrounded him, the smell of burning gas, garbage and sewage. The sounds of loud music, screeching brakes and blaring horns reached his ears from the town, he wanted nothing to do with them and drove himself further away from it all.

Dean wanted silence, he wanted no scents to bother him, nobody to hurt. He tried not to think as he ran, he only listened to his own heartbeat as he sprinted on. It was strong and loud, the rush of blood in his ears feeling better then ever. He didn't break a sweat, his footfalls didn't waver as he easily made his way through back yards and alley ways.

He pulled himself easily over a fence, landing softly in the next yard he picked up the same steady jog. He passed house after house, sent dogs barking and cats running, but people never noticed the strange man running through their back yards in the dark night.

Finally the houses began to thin, the yards becoming larger until he hit a road, the other side holding no homes, only forests. He quickly dodged across it, eager to go further into the woods, wanting nothing to do with the bars, the homes and the people behind him.

Dean streaked through the woods like a shadow of the night, the moon was only half full but he could easily see in the dark forest. Limbs and roots jutted up sharply, his feet easily dodging them as he ran. Trees quickly flashed by, his eyes taking in the beauty of the night as it swiftly went by.

He could hear the rush of water ahead, and it beckoned his drying throat. He felt his legs pump even quicker as he followed the sound, his arms reaching with each long stride that he effortlessly took. His brow was narrowed in concentration, his eyes shining unnaturally bright green in the dark night.

He came to a small creek, the cool water lazily flowing as the moons reflection danced on the smooth surface. He stepped in and for the first time since he had been running he realized he was bare foot as the icy liquid bit his skin. He sighed and dipped his hands down, getting a scoop of fresh water that he brought to his dry lips and drank quickly. He took a few more handfuls until the burning thirst died down, and then he let his hands fall to his sides, his breathing steadied as he let the thoughts return to his head.

What had he become?

**xXx**

Sam pulled the Impala into the drive that led to the parks trails, the gate was closed, a sign reading no visitors after dark, but the youngest Winchester easily ignored the it as he dug through the Impalas trunk. He saw his hand gun sitting there, and for one brief moment he debated taking it.

What if Dean was uncontrollable? What if his brother was no longer his brother?

Sam pushed the thought away though, slamming the trunk in frustration he turned to the woods and began walking, determined to find his big brother.

As Sam walked on he let his thoughts wondered to just how fast his brother could run now. Because he sure as hell had high tailed it out of that motel room faster then he had ever seen Dean go. Then again, just how strong was he now? Sam had never seen his brother lift anything off the ground by the neck as he had just experienced.

Sam pushed the thoughts away though, mind returning to look for the smallest sign of Dean's presence. He followed the narrow trail with flashlight in hand, sweeping the ground for any recent disturbances amongst the leaves. He strained to listen for any sound of footfalls, but no crunching of leaves or snapping of twigs greeted his ears.

After an hour of following the same trail Sam was ready to try another area when he heard soft trickle of a creek near by. Instinct told him everything was attracted to water, and without a second thought, followed the trail toward the sound of the stream.

The trail sloped down, the creek coming into view on his left. There was a large drop then the body of water, the land on the other side picking up with woods yet again. He carefully made his way down the incline, but a shadow in the water made him stop. The silhouette was one he would recognize anywhere, his big brother stood perfectly still in the middle of the stream, water coming half way up his calves, muscular arms tensely held in fists as he stared up at the moon.

Sam sighed in relief and picked up his pace, making his way down the hill to a small muddy bank where a small stream merged with the larger creek. He stood for a moment, studying his brother as he didn't even react to Sam's presence.

His back rose and fell softly in the moonlight, his shoulders and spiked hair outlined by the pale moonlight as the rest of his figure was encased in shadows. He was like an ancient statue, the world moving around him but he went untouched beneath the pale moonlight.

"Dean." Sam said softly, trying desperately not to startle his brother.

Dean didn't move though, he didn't even show a sign that he had heard Sam.

"What's happening to me Sammy?" Sam jumped at the desperate whisper that came from his brother.

Sam didn't know what to say, he so badly wanted to tell Dean, but if he was in mystery, he wouldn't bite the bullet. He swallowed hard and let the thoughts rollover on his head.

Dean snapped around though, water splashing as he faced Sam. Sam had to catch his gasp though, because Dean didn't look like Dean… His eyes shined and almost glowed an unnatural bright green, there appearance like gems in the dark night. His face was desperate, confused and hurt, something Dean almost never showed.

"Dean, it's okay. You-"

"It's clearly not okay Sam! I just tried to kill you! The Voodoo priestess did something to me… I'm not me dude. I… I can feel something inside me… but I can't control it." Dean stepped closer to Sam, water splashing loudly as he stepped out of the stream into the muddy bank, but he suddenly pulled himself to a stop before reaching Sam.

"Come on Dean, lets just go back to the motel, we'll call Bobby up and head there tomorrow morning. Okay? Sound good?" Sam pleaded, brow knitted in desperation as he gave Dean his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean swallowed hard, licking his lips nervously he looked at Sam with sad eyes.

"I don't trust myself Sam. I don't trust myself not to hurt you." Dean said, his body rigid with stress and anxiety.

"Dean, don't be ridiculous. You would never hurt me, I know you dude! I did kinda jolt you awake, you're a hunter Dean. You were just reacting, I'm fine, you're okay, can we please just sort this out back at the motel? I'm freezing my ass off here." Sam said, trying to lighten the tense situation.

Dean looked down at his hands, eyes catching his distorted reflection as it danced on the water, his eyes seeming to stand out in the dark night. He knew something was wrong, he knew he was changing and he knew that no matter what he could not and would not let himself hurt his baby brother.

"Sam, I'll go, but you have to promise me something." Dean asked softly, eyes returning to his brothers.

Sam gulped, hurt eyes pleading with Dean not to say what he knew he was going to say.

"If I ever become something I'm not, if I ever become one of the things we hunt… you have to kill me." Dean said in a hard voice as he pushed the pain that bubbled up inside him aside, knowing what was best came before himself.

Sam bit his bottom lip nervously, his eyes flashing to the ground as Dean looked at him with that desperate, hurt look. Sam only nodded, eyes coming back up as he found the courage to bring them back to his brothers.

"I promise." He said softly.

Dean nodded, rigid form relaxing as he picked up a walk, heading up the trail from where Sam had come. His little brother stood for a moment as Dean passed by, the elder Winchester pausing to wait for his brother.

"Well, you comin' then, bitch?" Dean smirked, mood suddenly making a complete one eighty.

"Yeah, jerk." Sam replied with a small smile as he began to follow.

But as Dean turned around and began to walk up the path the smile fell away, thoughts swallowing his mind in guilt because he knew he would be breaking his brothers promise.

**xXx**

**I want to do a charcoal drawing of the scene of Dean in the creek, looking up at the moon. It's so clear in my head, but I can't find a good reference ******

**I was reading through some old stuff of mine and realized this story lacks humor, however it's very angsty, so I suppose it will for a good while, but I'm gonna try an sneak some in there! Because each episode easily holds both elements, so I should be able to as well… or else I fail as a writer. **


	9. Man with No Country

**Hey everyone, sorry for the WAYYY over due update, I had some personal stuff come up and pretty much had to put a stop to everything but school and work. Winter break is approaching though, so updates should pick up again, woooo!! Sorry again everyone : ( **

**xXx**

The next morning while Dean was sound asleep Sam called Bobby, worry and panic in his voice as he realized he didn't have much time to get Dean anywhere before he snapped again.

"Bobby, I gotta get Dean up to Michigan now, you're sure the place up there will be able to hold him?" Sam said in a hushed whisper outside the motel room, he had no idea how good Dean's hearing was these days.

"Forget Michigan boy, I finished up a weekend project that'll work just dandy, just get your ass here a-sap." Bobby said gruffly.

Sam's brow rose in confusion, what the hell could Bobby have put together over the weekend? Then again knowing Bobby it could be something pretty crazy…

"Okay, we'll be there in a few hours." Sam responded, eyes flashing through the blinds to see Dean stirring inside.

"Alright, see ya then Sam." Bobby said and with a click hung up.

Sam snapped his phone shut and took a deep breath of the cold, crisp autumn air. He collected his thoughts, thinking of what he was going to tell Dean before he went in.

The previous night had been awkward for both of them, Dean had really no idea what to say or do, nor did Sam. Both had showered then watched Late Night TV neither saying a word the whole time. The guilt had eaten at Sam the entire night, Dean's eyes showing he was most likely doing the same.

Sam creaked open the door, and Deans eyes flashed from where he sat to meet his brothers gaze, he sat quietly on the bed, shoulders slouched and posture lax, everything screaming something wasn't right.

"Just called Bobby, said we should come on over and we'll look into some of the Voodoo stuff, see if we can dig anything up." Sam said softly, fearing if he spoke to loud it would break Dean more then he already was.

Dean only nodded, eyes cast down as he studied the bed sheet with a glazed look. Sam returned the gesture and swallowed hard, nervousness wrecking his body as he realized how sharply Dean was heading down hill. They didn't have nearly as much time as he had originally thought.

Dean's mind wasn't on any of it though, his thoughts were scattered and unfocused, images and fragments traveling through his mind before being knocked away with another, it was all so difficult and complicated for him to comprehend. He heard Sam, but didn't really hear him, he just felt like he was barred off from the world, like he couldn't grasp reality.

It had been like this since he had come home from the woods, as soon as he had hit city limits his mind had gone into a shambles, uncertain of what was happening and of what it wanted.

Dean shook his head and tried to clear his mind, rising he began to gather and pack his belongings, the routine so automatic his thoughts were still able to skip around as he did so.

Sam stood at the door waiting and Dean followed slowly, eyes looking tired as he got in the passenger side of the car. Sam had known he was off and wouldn't be driving, one of the unspoken brotherhood things.

Dean let himself get lost in the scenery as it flashed by, the green forests and fields seeming so peaceful, the images calming his scattered thoughts into a serene stream of normal thoughts once again. He sighed as he seemed to wake up in himself, keeping his eyes on the scenery as it helped calm him more.

"Bobby say if he had any ideas what this could be?" Dean asked, eyed meeting Sam with a more alive look.

Sam licked his lips nervously and clenched the steering wheel a bit, Dean's brow narrowing as he caught onto his brother's reaction.

"He, uh, he said she might have cursed you with something. But that's a pretty broad spectrum, so, we'll have to do some digging." Sam replied, avoiding his brother's eyes.

"Hmm." Dean replied simply, face hard as he studied his younger brother. Sam, wouldn't lie to him if he knew something, would he?

Dean only returned his gaze to the window, now wishing the scattered unorganized thoughts would return.

xXx

When late afternoon came around and they were still hours away from Bobby's, Sam asked Dean if he wanted to stop somewhere and get something to eat.

Sam had hesitated at asking, because the subject was really a double edge sword. If they didn't stop somewhere Dean could snap out of hunger, but if they did, he could freak in a crowded place. Sam realized the middle ground would be to stop in a nowhere town and grab something to go, keeping Dean away from others as long as possible.

Dean seemed to stiffen as Sam asked, his own fears and worries pulling at him. He had lost control of some sort at the steakhouse, he couldn't let Sam see that, then again maybe doing so would make his brother realize how bad things were getting. He sighed and rubbed his temples, a headache suddenly beginning to form behind his eyes, ironically because of hunger. He had surely thought after those steaks he would not be hungry for another week, but here he was, starving and edgy with hunger yet again the very next day.

"Yeah, sure." Dean said gruffly, suddenly agitated at all the thoughts that were pestering him.

Sam nodded and kept his eyes locked on the road, looking for the next sign to indicate a nearby town they could stop and eat at. Dean sat in awkward silence, eyes flicking in annoyance and agitation, his brother ignoring it all.

It was going to be an interesting drive.

xXx

The Impala rumbled loudly as it pulled into Singer Salvage yard, the engine quickly getting killed as soon as it was put into park. Bobby opened his front door, coffee in hand as he stood on the porch and watched the Winchester brother's exit the classic beauty.

Already he could sense the tension between the two, Dean with an agitated look on his face and tense shoulders, Sam with his nervous eyes and tight lips. He sighed at the pure stupidity both the boys could have, but this time mainly Sam, trying to protect his brother when he was only going to hurt him more with his lies.

"Good to see ya boys." Bobby said with a handshake, the brother's nodding in return.

"Thanks for helping us out Bobby, it's been… it's been a bit rough." Sam said softly, glancing toward Dean.

Dean had his back to the as he stared out into the woods surrounding Bobby's house. The look was almost longing, desperate as he completely tuned out his brother and listened to the rustle of leaves as the early November wind bit eagerly at them.

"What happened?" Bobby said, straightening a bit and sending Sam a worried glance.

"Umm, Dean just got a little agitated in the butcher shop, but everything was fine, he got his jerky, and nobody got hurt." Sam replied with a quick, sad smile.

Dean whirled around, processing what Sam had said with a flick of anger in his eyes.

"Agitated Sam?! I almost ripped the guys head off over a piece of meat, why the hell can't you just accept that something is obviously going on and stop ignoring this?!" Dean roared angrily, without waiting for a response he turned back around and walked off into the woods, not looking back.

"Dean! Dean, where the hell are you going?!" Sam shouted, now angry at his brother's outburst.

"For a walk!" Dean yelled back, lip pulling back in a snarl as he picked up his pace away from the place.

Bobby glared at Sam, clearly pissed at the younger sibling. Sam sighed and stepped past the older hunter.

"Sure we shouldn't go get him?" Bobby said, following Sam back in the house.

"No, let him get it out of his system. So, what was this weekend project you were speaking of? Something more worthy of an abandon jail I hope?" Sam questioned.

"Don't you question me boy, I know what the hell I'm doin'." Bobby rolled his eyes and pushed the basement door open, nodding for Sam to lead.

Sam shrugged and trudged down the old stairs, the wood creaking loudly under his weight, once at the bottom he immediately noticed where a large empty space had once been, was a room. Stepping closer he found the room to be mad of iron walls with feet of concrete surrounding them.

"A weekend project, huh?" Sam said in disbelief, eyes scanning the place, catching something new and interesting with each sweep.

"I got time, it's a panic room, not just a jail cell. Now, help me clear out the armory and we'll have it all set for your brother. Which you better damn well tell after we lock 'im up." Bobby raised an eyebrow at Sam and the youngest Winchester only nodded and sighed.

"I know, I will…"

xXx

Dean sat silently on an old fallen oak that overlooked a small stream, his mind was finally at ease and clear, no more angered thoughts and irritation at the world clogging it up and screwing with his head. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take this, whatever this was.

He sighed and let his eyes sweep the dull forest, the late fall leaves now brown against the grey naked trees and neutral sky. The air was cold, he could feel a frost coming on that night, possibly snow later that week. But it didn't bother him, neither did the thought of just sitting here for hours on end, away from it all. He shook his head at the thought, that wasn't him, and if something was changing he had to fight it, not just go along with it.

He had never loved the forest, sure he hadn't hated it, but never had he been so drawn to it. Nor had he ever been so hungry that he would have killed someone over it. He cringed as the memory of the butcher shop came flooding back. He went to grab for something, another guy grabbed it first, and he had simply tackled the man without thinking. Sam had been able to pry him off and send him back out to the car, but it had been close.

With a sigh he pulled himself up and began the walk back to Bobby's, he wasn't going to help himself by sitting and moping in the woods. Besides, that was Sam's thing.

xXx

Dean let himself back into Bobby's house, surprised when he didn't hear the two hunter chatting in Bobby's dining room, surrounded by books and digging through all possibilities. He knitted his brow in confusion and frowned as he called out for the two, "Sam? Bobby?"

"Down here Dean, come on down!" Sam yelled up from the basement, Dean turning at his brother's voice to the open door and following the descending stairs.

He immediately noticed that Bobby had installed some kind of room where a large open space had once been, he saw Sam in the door way with his arms crossed over his chest as he seemed to be observing the place. He turned around and met Dean's eyes, giving his brother a small smile as he waved him in.

"Come check out the panic room Bobby installed." Sam said and stepped aside so Dean could enter.

Dean looked around in awe as he realized Bobby had really gone all out for this. Iron clad walls, a devils trap for a ceiling fan, salt and holy water lining the place. It was all evil repellent.

"Damn Bobby, paranoid much?" Dean chuckled, but as he turned around to meet his friend's eyes, he found an iron door slamming behind him.

"Dean, I'm sorry." Bobby said gruffly through the small slot, eyes downcast.

"Sam, what the hell is going on?" Dean growled, anger and tension flooding him.

Sam met his older brother's eyes, worry and hurt shining on them as he met Dean's angry gaze.

"Dean, I need to be honest with you, about… about what's happening to you."

xXx

An update will come soon! Oh, and I ended up doing an art piece for the last chapter! :D

To see, just remove spacing! http:// loupgarouangel. deviantart. com /art/Us-of-Lesser-Gods-139570872


	10. Monster in the Making

"Sam, what the hell is going on?" Dean snarled, eyes flashing through the small slot as he studied his younger brother.

Sam sighed and nervously bit his lip, seeming to debate how exactly to tell Dean his answer.

"Sam…" Dean practically growled.

"Dean, it wasn't a voodoo priestess that attacked you, it was a Loup Garou. She bled into you, so she could… so she could change you. The coma you were in for two weeks was so your body could adjust to the changes, the healing, the sudden urges and mood swings, all signs of the change." Sam spilled the facts, refusing to get emotional as he told his brother his life was doomed.

Dean swallowed hard, shock and anger consuming his mind.

"Damn it Sam…" He sighed as he ran a hand through his spiked hair.

Dean was silent for a few moments, the thoughts racing through his head. Why hadn't Sam told him? Oh right, because his brother knew he would try and kill himself upon finding out what he was. His brother had lied to him and locked him up, when he should have just put the barrel to his head.

"Damn it Sam! Why the hell didn't you tell me?!" Dean whirled around to face his brother, angry eyes burning into the youngest Winchester.

Sam sighed and shifted nervously, choosing his words carefully.

"Because… Because I knew what you would ask me to do. Or what you would do to your self and I-"

"You Sam? What gives you the right to decide what's right for me?!" Dean yelled, eyes narrowing at his little brother.

Sam's brow knitted in frustrations, he clenched his jaw and stared right back.

"You're my brother Dean! I wasn't going to just sit by and let you die!" Sam shouted.

"Brother or not Sam… You know I would never, ever want to live a life in which I'm something we hunt." Dean rasped out, voice low as he tried to grasp the little control he had left. The anger in him was boiling over the edge, his flesh was hot as his heart pumped quickly in his chest.

Sam swallowed hard and looked away, unable to hold his brother's gaze anymore.

"Sam, you knew when you promised me, Sam… you lied…" Dean slammed a fist into the door breathing hard and causing Sam to jump at the sudden bang.

"Dean, I know sorry doesn't cut it, but I couldn't let you hurt yourself Dean. We will figure this out, that… that I promise."

Dean let out a growl and turned away from the door as he tried to calm his breathing, his muscles shook as the emotions built and he tried desperately to push them away. He was to full of questions, his head was spinning in shock and reeling from the news. He needed to just be alone.

"Dean, please just-"

"Just go Sam." Dean laid in a low, deadly tone.

"But-"

"I SAID GO!" Dean whirled around, eyes burning a bright, unnatural green as he roared at his brother.

Dean stood staring at his younger brother, shaking in rage as the animal breathed down the back of his neck, desperately wanting to be let out of its cage. But he wouldn't allow that, he would keep it at bay for as long as possible.

Sam nodded, taking in a deep breath as he tried to calm his own nerves.

"We'll be back later Dean, we're going to go and see if we can find anything… on how to cure you." Sam said softly, emotion cracking his voice.

Dean heard the wooden stairs creak and groan as the two climbed back up them. He stared blankly at the iron wall, his thoughts coming and going so fast it was as if he wasn't really thinking.

Sam had just informed him he was turning into a Loup Garou. A werewolf. A shape shifter. But all those names meant the same thing. Freak. Not Human. A monster.

Angrily he slammed his fist into the wall, shocked when it actually dented and the pain quickly faded. A sneer pulling his lip back in disgust as he realized how many changed had already took place.

How could he have been so blind? The hunger? The sexual tension? The draw to the forest? But he had trusted Sam, as he always had, figured he always could, and now he was stuck in this cell, so he couldn't hurt anyone, or more important to them, himself.

He clenched his jaw as the thought of suicide entered his mind. He had never, ever considered such a thing, thought it was immensely stupid…. Until now. Now, it made perfect sense. He was something not human, he deserved to be shot like a rabid dog. How could he live a normal life when once a month he got a case of the furries and ripped out peoples hearts? It just wasn't doable.

Sighing he sat on the small cot, the anger was fading away as his thoughts trailed to the thoughts of what his future held. Could they find a cure? Would he eventually transform? Would he kill? Could he convince Sam to not let it get that far? Or even Bobby?

As every thought came, he realized he had absolutely no idea what his future would hold.

xXx

Sam sighed in frustration as yet another book came up absolutely useless.

"Bobby… what are we gonna do?" Sam looked across the book stacked table at his older friend.

Bobby only shook his head and sighed in return, stress and frustration eating at his own mind.

"I'm still waiting for a call back from the voodoo priestess, she's our biggest lead. She's good friends with a pack leader, she knows everything about them. Books don't have diddly squat on these guys."

Sam leaned back and let the thoughts of what they knew run through his mind. Loup Garou's were an ancient breed that fed on the hearts of the evil. They were a form of ancient shape shifters, considered warriors of light in times that predated written history. Dean had been changed into one through one of the rarest rituals, the full moon was only three days away, in which Dean would be forced to go through his first transformation.

Sam had been researching every possible counter spell possible on transformations, only to come up with absolutely nothing. He also had no idea what a physical transformation was like for someone to go through, but he figured it was most likely not lollipops and candy canes.

"We should probably give him something to eat, its been a few hours since we last took something down." Bobby said, eyeing Sam with sad eyes.

Sam didn't respond, the thoughts of how much he hated what he was doing to his older brother clogging his mind. Dean had been locked up for two nights now, today was his third day and Sam could tell it was beginning to get to his brother. Dean hadn't spoken to him since Sam had told him the truth, something Sam thought Dean could never do. He would ask Dean a question or tell them their progress, but his older brother simply acted like he wasn't there.

Honestly, it was killing Sam on the inside.

When Dean was scared, he got cocky. When Dean was mad, he showed it. This was different, this was an emotion Sam realized Dean had never dealt with, Sam just couldn't figure out what that exact emotion was.

"I'll take it down. He hasn't mentioned anything to you about any changes he's had, has he?" Sam questioned quietly, knowing Dean would sometimes say something to Bobby.

"No, just said he sure was enjoying the awesome view in his cell. The progression has seemed to slow for now, full moons only three days away though, we don't have much time before he shifts." Bobby said as he got up and turned to the window, eyes searching the cold, fall landscape.

"I know, try the voodoo priestess again, I'll go give Dean some food and see if he can tell about anything going on with him.

Sam rose quickly, the wooden chair screeching in protest against the hardwood floor as he pushed it away and headed for the kitchen.

They had been trying to keep Dean's cravings at bay, from what Bobby had gotten from his source, Loup Garou's needed a constant source of protein to keep up with their high metabolism. He had ordered almost an entire steer from the local butcher, cooking up the rare meat every few hours and taking it down to Dean with a pitcher of water.

At first Dean had refused to eat it, seeming to rebel against both what was happening, and against Sam trying to lock him up. Bobby had taken down the second tray and found Dean hadn't touched the first, so he left it and told Dean they would just keep bring it. A few hours later Sam brought a third and found the cold meat sitting on the table beside the door. A fourth and fifth were brought, Bobby finally declaring it was no use, if Dean wanted to starve himself, then he could starve himself.

However, when Sam brought a tray the next morning he found every scrap of meat gone and only a few bones lying on the floor as Dean slept soundly in the cot. He had smiled, because if Dean was normal he wouldn't have been able to resist red meat for that long.

Sam trudged down the stairs with steaks in on hand and a pitcher of water in the other, the constant nagging thought of what he was going to do weighing heavy on his mind. As he came to the door he realized right away something was very wrong as loud animal like grunts and snarls came from the other side of the door.

"Dean!" He yelled as he dropped what he was holding and ran to look through the slot on the door, cautious to enter if Dean was having a violent outburst.

What he saw terrified him.

Dean was on his back, hands contorted in an unnatural shape as black claws scraped desperately at concrete. His back was arched as his leg muscles spasmed in pain, clothes soaked with sweat and blood that was pouring from his eyes, ears and nose. His head was pulled back as a yell of pain escaped his lips, long curved canines protruding from his mouth.

"Dean! No, not now!" Sam yelled, hand reaching to unlatch the door, instinct leading him to help his brother.

"No!" Dean gasped out, a animalistic roar following as another spasm of pain rocked his body.

Sam froze at his brother's reaction. Dean fought through the pain, slowly turning to Sam, face red hot as his veins flushed to the surface, every muscle shaking in stress an exhaustion. His eyes made Sam suck in a quick breath, made his world come crashing down as he realized just how real it all was.

Bright green wolf eyes stared back. Not a bit of white showed, his pupils small and sharp as they burned into Sam desperately, pleadingly.

"Stay… back… Sam." Dean grunted out, fighting the pain he was in to make sure his brother didn't come near him, near him when all he wanted to do was rip the younger man to shreds.

"Dean, you need help." Sam said trying to regain himself as he stared helplessly at his brother.

Bobby came running down, the roar catching his attention.

"What the hell's goin' on?" Bobby asked, eyes reaching Dean making him curse in frustration.

"Bobby, what do we do?" Sam asked quickly, worry wrecking him as his brother suffered on the floor before him.

"Stay OUT!" Dean roared, clenching his fists so tight the claws dug into his fleash and made him bleed.

"We can't do a damn thing Sam, it's one of the final stages of the transformation I'm assuming." Bobby cursed again under his breath, staring helplessly at Dean as he suffered.

Sam looked back to his brother, desperately he wished he could just do something to save him.

xXx

Dean had been drifting off to sleep when it had happened, happy he could finally get some shut eye after a night of pacing. The pain that hit his head was like someone slamming a sledgehammer into his brain, it had caused him to fall right out of bed and onto the hard concrete floor.

Every muscle in his body cramped up as his mind got pounded again and again with the searing pain. He didn't no how long this was going to last, he just prayed someone would kill him already.

Then he just somehow knew Sam was at the door, actually it wasn't somehow, it was Sam's scent at the door. Dean had no idea what he would do to his younger brother if he walked through that door, but he knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

He pleaded with Sam to stay out, he fought so as hard as he could against the pain to make sure his brother just stayed safe… stayed away from him. Finally the pain began to seize, but he found himself fading into darkness…

xXx

After Dean had passed out, Bobby and Sam had cautiously gone in and cleaned him up and returned him to his cot. After Sam had checked over his brother to make sure he was ok, and to make sure all claws and fangs had gone away, Bobby and him headed back upstairs to regroup.

"Bobby, we gotta do something, it maybe already to late to stop the transformation, but there's got to be something we can do." Sam pleaded, all last strands of hope beginning to fade away.

"I called the voodoo priestess, finally got a hold of her. You're headin' to New Orleans to talk to her in person, and get something she said would be useful as soon as we get your things together." Bobby said, holding up a hand to stop Sam from protesting.

"Bobby, the full moon is two nights away and-"

"And you can make it back in time if you leave now, she's our best lead Sam, I would go but she said it had to be you that came. The blood kin or something of that matter, meaning you're packin' up and takin your ass to New Orleans." Bobby cut in and shoved a bag in Sam's hands with his belongings.

"Now get gone, I'll take care of your brother." The older hunter grunted as he gave Sam a nod.

"Thank you Bobby, I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that Sam was gone, heading back to where all this had began.

xXx

What does this priestess have for Sam? What in the world is happening to poor Dean? All in the next chapter, served with a side of even more Dean Winchester whumpage and angst! ;P


	11. VooDoo

**Next update should be sooner, I have 2 finals left and I'm done, yay!**

xXx

Blood. That was all he smelled and tasted. He could feel the hot liquid on his tongue, metallic and smooth, but it didn't peak his interest one bit because it was own. He tried to ignore it, but it persistently seeped from his nose and down his throat. He wanted to wipe it off, do something, but he just couldn't summon the energy to do so.

His eyes were swollen shut, the lids caked with more blood, sticky and tacky against his soft lashes. His ears rang and ached in a throbbing beat of pain. Dean sighed as he realized every sense was kicking him in the ass.

He wasn't sure how long it had been since the episode, but the throbbing pain he was experiencing now was a pure relief to what he had gone through earlier. He remembered the slow, prodding pain he had felt when claws had slowly poked from his finer tips, mending with his own fingernails until sharp, curved daggers were formed. Eyes burning in white hot pain as something changed them, nose feeling as if it were getting smashed and broken, skin hotter then he thought possible, as though it were melting off his muscle.

And all so he could take one step further to being a freak. He didn't understand at first, why he had the episode in the first place if the gradual changes had been taking place. But he had come to the conclusion the episode was an explosion of some sort, one that had to happen in order for his superior wolf sense to kick in, he realized that now as he heard Bobby snoring two floors up.

Dean had been trying to block it all out since he had woke up, but he found it like an irritating itch in his hear that was impossible to ignore.

Dean tried to open his eyes, his vision blurry and unfocused at first. He was thankful it was dark in the room, only the shadows and moonlight to keep him company in his cell. The fan slowly churned above him, the bone white moon filtering in and out of his vision, a blurred orb that seemed to laugh at him as he laid there defenseless against the power it now held over him.

Dean stared blankly above him, dull thoughts rolling around lazily in his head as the exhaustion began to wash over him once again. He just wanted this over, just wished Sam could kill him now, especially before the change. If it was anything like what had happened earlier, he prayed that the shock killed him. He hated this, hated what he was becoming, hated that he couldn't do a damn thing about it, and hated he was leaving his brother alone in such a cruel world.

xXx

Sam slammed the Impala door shut with a screech, he nervously fixed his coat collar as he studied the French Quarters before him. It was late evening, the whole place glowing in decorative lights and candles here and there. Some folks sat out on their balconies, a woman laughed loudly with a drink in one hand an a long, slim cigarette.

At the sound of the youngest Winchesters entrance though, all became quiet and leery eyes studied him questioningly. Sam swallowed hard and continued toward the building, the warm humid air sinking through his layers and making him sweat. He saw a homemade sign hanging from old black chains reading Severna's Voodoo Shop, the red cursive letters were like blood against the black paint, gold framing catching the dull street lights as if to lure tourists into the place.

Sam slowly creaked open the screen door, the scent of the place almost sending him back. Herbs and spices of every kind mingled here, his eyes swept the place carefully as he noticed every nook and cranny was filled with something interesting. Wolfs bane hanging in the windows, dolls on the shelves, books of all sorts here and there, hand made clothes thrown about as if this was more a home then a shop. The lights were dim, shadows danced across the place as black candles lit a majority of the shop.

Sam stepped in, the door snapping behind him loudly.

"Hello?" He called out nervously, hoping he wouldn't have to wait long for assistance.

Sam turned to the nearest table, a thick tapestry was laid over an old oak table, the thing was littered with crystal balls, handmade wooden curse boxes, bags of herbs and incense. Sam stepped past it and looked at the shelf that was at eye level with him, all holding little white cloth voodoo dolls, little black X's for eyes that sent chills up his spine. He saw one alone with beady black eyes, the glass structures seeming to stare into him. He leaned in closer, totally drawn into the interesting little creation.

"Hello, Sam Winchester." A voice startled Sam, making him jump in surprise.

Sam turned around and was greeted by an unexpected sight.

When Bobby had told him it was a Voodoo priestess he had expected an older woman, but instead a beautiful young woman, maybe in her late twenties that smiled at him with warm brown eyes. She was dressed in layers of colorful clothes, her hair twisted up in a white cloth with thick locks of black hair falling to her shoulders here and there. Her mocha skin glowed in the soft light, her presence itself seeming to calm the young hunter.

"Uhh, Hi. Startled me there, you must be Miss Severna?" Sam said, stepping closer to the young woman and sticking his hand out in greeting.

She kindly took his large hand in her two small petite hands, holding it for a moment as she looked into his eyes. Sam felt her power there, warmth that seemed to wash over him and clear his mind.

"Such a path you have traveled so far Sam, I am sorry for your loss." She bore a heavy accent, one that even Sam couldn't place, it was almost a native island dialect laced with the New Orleans French speaking natives.

"… Thank you, but I really need to talk to you about Dean, we're short on time." Sam said quickly, honestly he didn't want her to dig into his life, dealing with Dean was enough on its own.

She released his hand and gave him a nod, turning around she pulled back a thick maroon curtain and indicated for him to lead in the next room.

He brushed past her into a medium sized back room, the appearance a complete opposite from the store on the opposite side of the wall. There was an over stuffed couch, which was currently occupying a sleeping young man who wore only his boxers, and a small old television that was playing the old Wolfman movie.

Sam snorted at the irony.

Severna walked past him, taking a seat in an overstuffed chair and indicated for Sam to sit in the smaller one across from her. He quickly obliged and settled himself, looking at her eagerly for some answers.

"So, what is it you come looking for Samuel?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well, as Bobby told you, my brother Dean has been unwillingly changed into a Loup Garou. I need to know if there is anyway to turn him back, or suppress the change or, I don't even know. I just… I just can't lose my brother." Sam looked at her with pleading eyes, the last words making him clench his jaw in emotion.

"Who said you would be losing your brother? This is his destiny young hunter. His true nature."

Sam felt like he had just received a punch in the gut, pausing a moment as he absorbed the information he had just received.

"Wait, what?" He asked, a million questions now racing in his mind.

Severna leaned closer, a small smile on her face.

"Why d you think no one survives Sam? One has to be worthy of the change, unless born into it. Those who are not of natural blood, well, there are almost none. One has to be true at heart, it is what Dean Winchester is. It is who he is, and not a soul can change that."

Sam felt his stomach drop out, his heart skip a beat as he realized not only was there no hope for his brother returning to normal, but also his brother was meant to be this creature.

"But, there has to be some kind of cure? Something to stop the transformation." Sam said angrily.

"I am sorry, but once a Loup Garou, always a Loup Garou, it is a part of him now. His wolf will soon rise and the two shall go through the merge." She replied as she twisted a large silver ring on her finger.

"What do you mean merge?" Sam said, concern rising.

"Although the transformation is physical and mental it is very much spiritual as well Sam. You have to understand, since Dean survived this, it means the wolf has always been there, lying in wait for something to bring it out. Why do you think your brother is such a good hunter? So close with his family? Wouldn't you say your brother has always been a little… wolfish?" She said with a grin, Sam huffing in an annoyed response, this was not the answers he had been looking for.

"I'll take that as a yes. So, it is almost as if Dean has two personalities, the first transformation will be a merging of the two, which will probably be rather difficult for your brother since he will not want to accept the inner animal spirit. Sometimes the merge does not occur, which simply means your brother will live by day as himself, but when the full moon rises the other self will rise with the wolf. How that side will be I have not a clue, but I recommend you tell Dean he must accept the merging, or he will have to deal with the consequences." She shook a finger at Sam in stern warning.

"If he doesn't on the first transformation, will he be able to do so later on?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but it will be much more difficult."

"I don't… I don't understand, how is Dean meant to be a Loup Garou? He's a hunter, he kills, he shoots before thinking, I mean, he's really no saint." Sam said, frustration growing as he got no where with curing Dean, not just putting him on a leash.

"Sam, a Loup Garou is no saint, they are warriors, true warriors. Wouldn't you say that is just what your brother is? I have searched for answers amongst the astrals, and they have told me, this is what Dean Winchester must become in order for fate to remain in place, there is no changing it." She told him smoothly, her eyes searching for some kind of understanding in Sam's.

"But how will Dean survive? He can't live with himself being what he is! He will never kill a human in order for his own life, even if they are evil, he just can't do it." Sam said, desperate now just for his brothers survival.

"I can help you there Samuel, although legend states it is the human heart of the wicked, it can actually be any wicked heart." She smiled, her words testing Sam's knowledge.

"So, he could survive on, say, vampire hearts? Or pretty much any creature that has done wrong?" Sam questioned, catching onto the idea quick.

"Indeed, although his strength will not be a superior as one surviving on human hearts, he would survive and be healthy."

Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, stress giving him yet another headache.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Sam Winchester?" Severna asked as she stood up.

"No… no I guess that's all. You're sure there is nothing to change him back though?" Sam asked in desperation once more.

She nodded and gave him a sad smile, taking his hand in hers once again.

"It will be okay Sam. But you need to hurry back to your brother now, he will be changing soon, and he will need you there. Make sure he feeds though, he may not survive the transformation back if he does not." She eyed him wearily, Sam realizing he would just barely make sunset for the full moon he left now.

"Thank you Severna, I really appreciate it. I'll be seeing you around." Sam said quickly, stepping past her and speaking as he went through the door, giving her a wave of goodbye as he rushed out of the place.

Severna watched him go, eyes becoming distant and hurt as he left.

"Yes Samuel, I will be seeing you soon, I just wish I were not."

xXx

Dean was dreaming. He knew that, and he was glad he knew that. It made him happy not to be in the real world. The real world sucked, it was hard and sharp, hurtful and loud. Here, everything was soft and warm, the darkness not so much scaring him, but comforting him.

Dean was floating around in happy abyss, unknowing to him it was drug induced happy abyss, but that was no matter.

After Bobby had been awakened by piercing screams he found Dean contorted on the floor trembling in pain. Seeing no other choice he gave him sedatives until he slipped into unconsciousness.

Dean smiled here, he was just so happy and warm and peaceful, he wished he could just stay here forever, and ever and…

"Hello, Dean." The voice startled him from his happiness, he felt himself open his eyes, but he still only saw darkness, it was like being blind.

Dean was scared, all the happiness was drained and sucked away as the echo of the voice seemed to float on. He looked around, seeing nothing. Then they were just there, a pair of bright green eyes, pupils looking small as almost the entire eyes was filled with shades of green, almost no white showing. The brightness of them seeming to radiate into the shadows of this dark place.

"Don't be afraid Dean, it's only me."

At that moment Dean was terrified, for it was his very own voice that he heard.

xXx

**Darn evil cliffhangers! :P**


	12. Of Wolf and Man

The italics are for the song "Of Wolf and Man" by Metallica. Enjoy!

**xXx**

The darkness began to fade, a room blurring into Dean's vision. He was back in the panic space, moonlight still filtering in through the slowly turning fan. There was a chill in the air as heat from the house failed to sneak into the bare room.

Dean tried to catch his breath as the voice echoed in his mind, he ran a shaking hand over his eyes and gave his head a quick shake.

"You can't run from me, Dean."

Dean snapped his head toward the door, breath catching as he saw himself seated there in an old wooden rocking chair, green eyes much brighter and vivid then his own staring back.

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, "You're not real."

The other Dean chuckled, deep and almost growl like.

"You wish, but you know that's not true, now is it?" Dean heard something click then the sound of a tape beginning to play.A song heavy in guitar and hard on the drums began to play, Dean immediately recognizing the noise.

"What the Hell did Bobby give me?" Dean groaned as Metallica's Of Wolf and Man began to play.

_Off through the new day's mist I run  
Out from the new day's mist I have come_

"They did help bring down that barrier of yours a bit, do you know how much of a pain in the ass you are to get too?" The other Dean asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he slowly rocked the chair back and forth, a small creak coming from the wooden frame.

_I hunt  
Therefore I am_

The song hummed softly against the metal walls, the echoes of the guitar slithering into Dean's ears smoothly.

Dean sighed in annoyance, he opened his eyes and glanced at his other self. Soar and still painful from the havoc his body was facing he slowly pulled himself up into the sitting position, locking eyes with his other self.

"What do you want?" Dean said lowly, tired of his own ridiculous games.

"Everything you do Dean, only I'm willing to do what it takes to get there, and you're not, and that my friend, is where our trouble begins." Bright eyes said as he lifted his chin and stared back at Dean.

_Harvest the land  
Taking of the fallen lamb_

The music played on softly in the background, Dean sneered in reply, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"Right, cause I want to go about killing people. No thanks pal, now take a hike."

"To save the innocent, to get rid of every evil son of a bitch out there, to protect Sam. I am you, the only difference is I don't have that cocky attitude to get in my way, and I'm willing to make a sacrifice for the greater good." Bright eyes glared at Dean, brow narrowed in aggravation at his other half.

"What are you? The pain in the ass animal spirit that was put in me against my will, I'm not hearing any of this bull." Dean said, voice raising as he looked at his other self.

_Off through the new day's mist I run  
Out from the new day's mist I have come_

Bright eyes grinned, Dean taking notice of how his teeth gleamed so white and the canines grew sharp.

"Far from it Dean, like I said, I'm you. I've been here the entire time, I can't even say lying in wait, because I was there every time you made a kill, every time you protected Sammy, every time you crawled on your belly for Daddy's approval. I'm in you all the time Dean, you try and hide it, try an-"

"Shut up you stupid son of a bitch!" Dean cut him off, quickly kicking the cot away as he stood.

_We shift  
Pulsing with the earth  
Company we keep  
Roaming the land while you sleep_

Bright eyes only continued to stare at him, small smirk on his face.

"See what I mean Dean, always there." Bright eyes began to rock his chair slowly once again, watching Dean as he leisurely swayed back and forth.

_Nose to the wind  
Shape shift… feeling I've been  
Move swift… All senses clean  
Earth's gift… Back to the meaning, Back to the meaning of... Life_

"I will never accept you." Dean said lowly.

Bright eyes sighed and knitted his fingers together, resting his hands atop his head as he slowly gave a sad nod.

_Bright is the moon high in starlight  
Chill in the air cold as steel tonight  
We shift_

"You will eventually. Maybe not the first or second or third time, but you will eventually. Ya know why?" He stopped his rocking and leaned forward towards Dean.

_Call of the wild  
Fear in your eyes  
It's later than you realized _

Dean said nothing, heart racing as watched his other self slowly rise, seemingly taller and more taunt then himself, each movement like liquid steel. He stepped closer to Dean, each footfall silent, each motion something of an art form.

"Because if you don't, every time you shift I will take over, and you'll hate yourself for that Dean. You'll hate that I rip out the heart of some human, hate that I do it with a smile on my face… Hate it, because when I'm doing it, there is a little piece of you there with me, enjoying the ride, but you'll never admit that." Bright eyes smirked, nose a mere inch from Dean's own face.

_So seek the wolf in thyself_

In a flash Dean had his other half by the throat pinned up against the iron wall.

"I will **_never_** like it, you stupid son of a bitch. And I will **_never_** let you get in control, hear me?" He practically growled.

Bright eyes only laughed, leaning his face in to stare at Dean with those wolf eyes.

"Funny, cause what you're doing now, it's every bit of who we are, and ya can't fight who you really are Dean."

Dean snapped awake, the hallucination shattering into a million pieces and leaving not a trace behind. He ran a hand over his face and licked his lips nervously, letting out a breath he had been holding.

Dean looked at his watch, the time reading 8:38 a.m. The full moon was tonight, the night in which he would experience his first shift, unless Sam got his ass back here with some kind of miracle cure.

Slowly he pulled his aching body up, stretching each muscles and trying to rid himself of the kinks and knots. He could smell the platter of meat by the door, the temptation to feed as strong as ever. He turned his cheek the other way, trying to ignore it as he walked to the other side of the small room and leaned his weight on the wall.

He thought back to the dream, of the wolf side taunting him, of what it all could really mean… And of what tonight could bring.

_Back to the meaning, back to the meaning of wolf and man…_

**xXx**

"Bobby, it's me, Sam. The voodoo priestess had nothing useful to help Dean, she said there is absolutely no cure or no way to change him back. What the hell we gonna do Bobby?" Sam sighed in exhaustion and frustration, he was at ends meet and the full moon was approaching fast.

The Impala rumbled loudly beneath the young hunter as he pushed it quickly down the highway back toward Singer Salvage. It was a cold morning, the sky was grey with a threat of letting the winters snow fall soon, Sam hoping for not a flake to fall as long as he was driving.

"Damn it, she was our only worthy lead. I don't know right now, Sam. But you have to get back here as soon as you can, he's only been getting worse since you left." Bobby sighed, Sam could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"What's happening now?" Sam asked with worried tone.

"He keeps having these fits where he starts screaming and cursing, I'll see little bits of the shifts in between, but last night was the worst."

Sam swallowed hard as he pushed the pedal a little harder.

"Bobby… what happened?"

He heard the older hunter let out a sigh then take a swig at what Sam would have guessed for whiskey.

"I heard him talking, he hasn't said much, but it was as if he was carrying on a conversation with someone. So I went down to keep and eye on him… Sam, he wasn't himself." Bobby said softly.

"What do you mean he wasn't himself?" Sam asked, growing more frustrated with the secrets.

"It was like there were two of 'im, he would be talking, like regular Dean, then suddenly his eyes would grow real bright and his tone would change and he would continue the conversation. It's the Wolf, Sam." Bobby stated roughly.

Sam was silent for a moment, thoughts of what everyone was telling him rolling over in his head. Everyone was talking about Dean, but no one was talking too Dean, and it was about time someone did.

"I'll see you in a bit Bobby."

Sam snapped the phone shut and pressed the pedal to the floor.

**xXx**

Oh, dear.

This chapter was kinda short, but I have 3 promises to make to you wonderful reviewers and readers for the next few chapters.

1)Angst

2)Action

3)Naked Dean

I hope you enjoy all three. : )


	13. Slide Me Under the Moon

It was 5 p.m. when Sam pulled in the driveway, and it was literally minutes from sundown in the cold, early December night. He saw Bobby waiting at the door, face hard in worry as he watched Sam hurry out of his car.

"How's he doing?"

Bobby held open the door for Sam as he ushered him in from the chilly night.

"Well, he's been real quiet since the incident last night, then again I haven't tried to talk to him much, figured you would want to when you got back." Bobby talked as they headed down the stairs and came to Dean's cell door.

Sam nodded, eyes narrowed as he glanced back at Bobby.

"Yeah, and it's about time I did."

With that Sam pulled open the latch on the large iron door and walked into Dean's cell, his older brother not even flinching as he loudly entered the small room.

"Dean, we need to talk." Sam said sternly, he had played this again and again in his head during the drive, but suddenly it was all slipping away.

Dean was still silent, unmoving from where he sat with his back against the wall and he stared blankly up at the slowly turning fan, moonbeams dancing in and out of the room, seeming to daunt him.

"Dean, I'm tired of this silent treatment crap! We're going to get you through this, can you just trust me on that?" Sam pleaded, crouching down next to the older hunter so he could meet his eyes.

A moment of silent passed, Sam biting his lip nervously as he watched Dean continue to blankly stare at the ceiling.

"Dean, the moon is going to rise soon, the priestess… the priestess couldn't help, but I'm going to get you through this, you understand me?" Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder and shook him with firmly, throat catching in emotion as he spoke.

Dean slowly turned his eyes toward Sam, tears shining against green orbs as they threatened to fall against his soft lashes.

"Kill me… please, kill me Sammy." Dean said in a hushed whisper, so desperate it made the gnawing feeling of guilt return to Sam's heart as it had that very night his brother had been bitten.

"Dean…no, I can't-"

Dean quickly grabbed Sam's collar, breaths coming in quick, unsteady motions now as emotion swelled in him.

"Please Sam, please, you have to understand, I can't live like this… I can't be a monster… I can't lose control and kill somebody, please, just kill me…" Dean searched Sam with desperation.

"Dean, I can't kill you, no matter what you become… I just can't." Sam replied, grabbing Dean's hands and removing them from his collar as he stepped away.

Dean's expression hardened, he watched Sam with a narrowed brow as he stepped back and looked down at Dean. Sam saw Dean's veins were rising to the surface of his skin, which was now slicked with a sheen of sweat. His brothers eyes flicked dangerously at him, anger boiling there beneath the surface.

"Then I'm sorry Sam, if you can't kill me this way… then I'll just have to make you." Dean said lowly.

Sam was unsure how one moment he was standing and the next he was on the ground, Dean on top of him with a vicious snarl on his face, arm raised behind him in the ready position to slam a punch into his younger brother.

"One last chance Sam, please… shoot me before I make you." Dean growled, a deep sadness beneath the anger.

There was the click of a gun loading and both the brothers shot a look behind them, Bobby standing at the door with a shot gun.

"Get off 'im, Dean." The eldest hunter said lowly without a trace of emotion as he tried to hide it from the brothers.

"Just do it Bobby! Kill me before I can kill someone else!" Dean roared as he continued to pin Sam down with superior strength.

Bobby clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, trying his hardest to keep his emotions at bay, Dean was like a son to him, and like Sam, he couldn't fathom the thought of killing the young man.

"Dean, get off 'im, we can work this out."

"What the hell is there to work out?! I'm going to change into a monster and rip both your hearts out without a second thought! **NOW DO IT! SHOOT ME**!" Dean screamed at Bobby, grip tightening on Sam.

"Dean…" Bobby said again, shifting the gun closer to himself, ready to go for an injury shot if he had to.

"Nooooooo!" Dean suddenly let out a loud scream and threw himself off Sam, slamming into the iron wall as he clutched his head and sank to the ground roaring in pain.

Sam scrambled up and grabbed Bobby as they rushed out of the room, ready for Dean to shift at any moment.

"No… you, you stay out of this you son of a bitch!" Dean cried, tears now streaming down his face.

With a snap Dean came completely calm and still, standing as his posture changed and his eyes flashed a bright vivid green.

"Can't do that, not going to let you hurt Sam so you can get your sorry ass killed." The tone was low and deep, but never had Dean ever sounded like this Sam realized.

"Bobby, the priestess talked about Dean having to merge with his wolf side, I think… I think this is the wolf side." Sam said as his eyes quickly flashed between the cell and the awe struck hunter.

Dean flinched and his eyes lost the glow, emotion returning to his face as he shook in fear.

"Don't you dare say my brother's name! I won't let you kill him, you sick, stupid mindless beast! Stop trying to trick me into thinking you're good or some bullshit!" Dean yelled, eyes narrowed in a crazed sort of anger as he looked wildly about the room.

"Yeah, maybe, but why the hell does the wolf want to save your sorry ass?" Bobby questioned as he watched Dean shutter and the his unnaturally bright eyes return.

"You are pathetic, I mean really, you are still seeking Daddy's approval. You just keep running the scenario of what he would say if he was still alive and it kills you on the inside. Get over it! Accept me, and we can live in peace, don't you understand I only want to help you?!" Dean paced the room slowly, his posture slightly hunched and taunt as his hands clenched in fists, bright eyes flashing back again.

Sam turned to Bobby, "Because, remember what we found on Loup Garou's? They don't kill the innocent? Dean seems to be under this impression he's is going to go about killing everyone but the truth is he is just going to want to seek out evil individuals. The wolf side isn't a manifestation of an evil spirit, it's something else entirely." Sam said in a quick whisper as he continued to watch his erratic brother.

"No… I won't ever accept you because you are not me! You're some evil thing that got forced in me when some over sized flea bag sank its fangs into me!" Dean yelled, quickly spinning around as he seemed to argue with an invisible individual.

"What else could it be then?" Bobby asked quietly.

Dean pulled himself to a stop, his breathing hard and fast as his hands clawed up and his muscles shook, his skin was bright red as sweat glistened in the soft lights. His head was bent down with a clenched jaw, his eyes snapped up at the door and the unnaturally bright green glow there once again, only now it seemed more vivid and intense then ever.

"Then I'm sorry, I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way." Dean growled, a snarl revealing elongated canines and sharpened teeth.

The bright eyes faded and Dean started shaking his head, "No, no, no! Don't do this you stupid bastard! Don't do this to me!"

Sam swallowed hard and felt his gut twist in nervousness as his brother seemed to snap completely.

"I don't know Bobby, I honestly don't know."

An animal like roar echoed from the confinement of the room as Dean fell to his knees and he let himself collapse to the hard ground. Dean tore off his shirt effortlessly as a boiling heat spread through his blood stream, heart pounding so hard and fast her thought it was going to explode.

All Sam and Bobby could do was watch and pray that Dean survived this.

Dean lay there panting for a moment as the pain seemed to lessen for a moment, but he was so hot he felt as if his flesh were on fire. Sweat was pouring off him now, his hair slicked with moisture was a mess atop his head.

His legs and arms began to throb, the muscles aching restlessly as blood and adrenaline pumped to them quickly. He had the urge to move now, the sensation that if he didn't get up his legs would explode. His pulled himself on the cot, standing uneasily as his muscles viciously shook. He kicked off his shoes effortlessly, the cold concrete a relief to the blazing heat his feet were experiencing.

But his legs were blistering, the rough jeans suddenly irritating his skin. He panted heavily as he ripped them and the boxers clean off, unable to take the sensation for another minute. He stood naked as the day he was born in the middle of the small room. His skin was now steaming in the cool basement, sweat dripping off him as if he had just stepped out of a hot shower.

"Bobby, maybe we should drug him, I don't know if his body can handle this. The priestess said he needed to feed on the heart of something evil, but I didn't exactly have time to stop and grab a vampire." Sam said as Dean pace the room anxiously.

"From what I've read doing that might kill him, not being awake doesn't allow for the shift to proceed correctly, especially drug induced sleep. He's gotta ride it out, but what the hell did she say would happen if he doesn't feed?" Bobby said angrily, now worried at what could go wrong.

Sam looked at Bobby with hurt eyes, jaw set in determination.

"He might not be able to survive the transformation back, Bobby, I gotta do something." Sam said desperately.

Bobby sighed and looked up at Sam, he took off his hat and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"You stay here with your brother, I've got an idea." Bobby placed his hat back on and gave Sam a nod as he turned to leave.

"Bobby, what are you gonna do?" Sam asked as the hunter headed up the stairs.

"Don't worry bout it Sam, just keep your brother alive." He called down as his footsteps faded up the stairs.

Sam let out a shaky breath and returned his gaze back to his brother, who continued to pace the room, occasionally grabbing at his head or slamming a fist angrily into the wall. His eyes had remained darker, the vivid green not returning since more physical signs had begun to show.

A loud crack made Sam return his full attention to his brother, and he watched in horror and disgust as the shift began to wreck havoc on his brother.

A shot of pain hit Dean's ankles and he fell to the floor with a roar of agony yet again, his legs feeling as if they had just been broken. He screamed as the ache traveled down his feet, like a million muscle cramps were seizing his body all at once. He heard the first crack and felt his toes begin to shift.

A crack made another scream escape his lips as his hand suddenly contorted in an unnatural manner. He arched his back against the seizures of gut wrenching torture, sickening clicks popping from beneath the skin as vertebrae's elongated and shifted in his spine.

Tidal waves of horrid torment were suddenly crashing viciously into Dean as the shift began to speed up, his bones lengthening and thickening beneath his muscles and skin. Slowly his ankles extended into powerful tarsal bones, digit grade legs beginning to take form as the arches of his feel stretched out into a canine like shape.

Each rib cracked loudly as it tore from the cage, expanding as his barrel steadily grew large with each panting breath. His spine continued to draw out at a slow pace, a burn at the base making Dean scramble onto his stomach to try and rid the discomfort. A rat like tail began to elongate from his tail bone, each cracking loudly as vertebrae after vertebrae formed.

He was groaning in agony now, screams no longer possible as his lungs stung from the changes.

Both arms were throbbing, the bones had slowly been expanding, carpal bones thickening and elongating along with them. He roared as the claws slid through the skin and crimson blood trailed down his hands. It was like a knife slowly being pushed from the inside out, twisting and turning as it did so.

His head felt as if it were about to explode, vision blurring as he felt the bone structure begin the change, jaw clenching as he felt his nose and mouth beginning to enlarge.

A new sensation took over as the shifting of bones seemed to slow, the deep bedded, breaking pain of shifting skeleton changing to a burning, ache of swelling muscles and veins.

His barrel swelled to double, then triple and then quadruple his original size, muscle becoming defined and powerful. Abs and stomach muscles becoming a strong core, muscles refining as shoulder blades and dorsal muscles expanded impressively. His calves and thighs grew bulky with strength, his elongated feet filling out, black pads forming as toes solidified into canine like paws to match his huge form. Biceps, triceps and pecks exploded into large, muscular works of art. His neck thickened as a muzzle finished and his ears began to elongate and slowly slid atop his head. His fingers swelled as thick, rough pads took place of human skin, knuckles rounding into a more paw like shape.

The pain began to dissipate a bit, but not before the insane itching started. Dean roared and raked new claws over his now wolf like face as an irritating tingle ascended on his new form. Every pore filled with a rough, dirty blonde fur, the small pieces of hair slowly poking through skin that was beginning to toughen into a more dog like coat. Mane like hair, long and slick grew from his head, neck, shoulders and chest, a trail leading down to his groin and tail. A shorter, rougher coat sprawled over the rest of his body, the color a bit darker then the shining mane.

Sam stared in disbelief as the shift finished, his stomach churning uneasily as it threatened to empty it contents. Where his brother had once been now lay a beast, its barrel rising and falling in quick, unsteady pants of exhaustion from the change. His back was to Sam, the shakes of the muscles beginning to slow as the shock of the shift began to fade.

Sam felt emotion swell within him as he realized just how far gone Dean was now, and he felt the guilt in his gut weigh heavy on his mind as he realized this was all his fault. Dean wouldn't be some huge monster now if Sam just actually became a good hunter, but no, his brother had to suffer instead.

"I'm so sorry, Dean… I'm so sorry…" He whispered as tears threatened to fall.

The sudden movement made Sam jump, but in a flash the beast had rolled over and was on all fours, bright green eyes burning into Sam through the small slot in the door.

".. Dean?" Sam whispered.

There was only a low, animalistic growl in return…

**xXx**

**Phew! That was intense to write as well! Now, next chapter is going to do some explaining from Dean's mental point of view, which is going to be fun with the split personality and all… :D**

**I know I usually have some grammar errors in there, that's my weakness, but please let me know if you're finding anybody really OOC, I hate doing that and would truly like to be told if so! I love going crazy on the details, but sometime leave out the emotion because of that, so let me know if this is lacking any emotion as well… **

**Okay, hope you all enjoyed the chapter, next one should be up soon, can't wait to hear what you all think! **


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